Photos via sega_retro_revival
What does Franken Berry do for the 10.5 months of the year he isn’t slinging spooky strawberry cereal and reclining seductively in plain view of traffic?
Trading secrets with Lucky and Mario, apparently.
Thanks to tips from sega_retro_revival and cereal compatriot Gabe Fonseca on Instagram (thanks!), we now know that General Mills is at the very least testing a new Fruity Lucky Charms cereal. While the cereal hasn’t been confirmed to be hitting stores, the “not for resale” boxes sega_retro_revival received directly echo four cereals play-tested by General Mills about this time last year, all of which ended up coming out. So I think it’s safe to say that those specifically nostalgic for 2006’s Berry Lucky Charms will have something to look forward to soon.
As for the rest of us? I also think it’s safe to stay on the naturally and artificially flavored fence for now: Fruity Lucky Charms closest aesthetic analogue, Franken Berry, has gone downhill in terms of quality lately, and the controversially crunchy Super Mario Cereal was a mealy disgrace that Nintendo could only salvage by bringing to life my $1,000,000 idea:
In honor of Super Mario Cereal, I sloppily mocked up a TOTALLY FICTIONAL cereal I'd love to see. pic.twitter.com/BPEm9cOB02
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) January 20, 2018
I briefly had hopes that Fruity Lucky Charms would bring back Franken Berry’s dearly departed (and mourned en masse) oat flour base, but from the looks of this prototype box, Fruity Lucky Charms will feature corn charms only, a cursed ancestry that even Lucky’s boisterously fudged Chocolatey Winter Charms couldn’t outlive.
Maybe Lucky’s only hope of passing off his grazin’ maizin’ kibble is a Thanksgivingtide Sweet Cornbread Stuffin’ Charms?
A safer still bet for both wide release and deliciousness is the other sample box received: a full-sized package of Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros, which have already hit (apparently very limited) shelves in pouched form, along with some other new General Mills products highly sought after in this particular cardboard-stuffed household.
A no-brainer for filling a void long-left by Post’s Mini Cinnamon Churros, CTC Churros provide both a refreshing take on the tried and true textures of the Toast Crunch family’s twin square and breaded lineages, as well as a bold departure from the Crazy Square mascots we’re familiar with.
Ultimately leaving more questions than answers, this googly-eyed Apple Jacks Cinna-mōn lookalike makes me wonder: is he a cannibal too? Would he still eat a Crazy Square, or is he the lanky, highly sought after prey?
Wherever his place on the food chain, I’m glad it’s below us…because if he wasn’t, my continued hunting to find a pouch/box would require far more disguises, palm fronds to wipe away footprints, and whatever color body paint warns a deranged Churro that I, a frequent accidental consumer of stagnant coffee, am toxic.
My roomie works in grocery advertising, and she brought home two boxes of the Fruity Lucky Charms a few weeks ago! They were pretty terrible, unfortunately. The artificial fruity flavors were too weird, so even her sweet tooth couldn’t handle it.
Oops, ignore that… I got excited and commented before I read the rest of your post!
There used to be a Churros cereal. I think Post made it. I can’t remember how long ago it was, but I remember not being sure if I liked it or didn’t like it. The cereal pieces were somewhat softer than regular cereal pieces… imitating actual churros… and got soggy fast. I wasn’t sure if they were supposed to be like that, but I did end up enjoying them. I never saw them in the store again though!
As mentioned in the post, lack of oat flour will make this another inferior product, as well as serving to dilute the Lucky Charms brand even further.
Yes oats are more expensive, but they’re healthier, tastier, and won’t make people associate one of your flagship cereals with what Frankenberry has become–a flavorless cereal with horrible texture.
Corn has its place— cereals like cocoa puffs are fine. Pure greed on General Mills’ part.
Note that Mario cereal has oats, and I continue to buy it after the novelty factor has worn off— because it’s good!