Tag Archives: news

News: Three Cereal Tidbits!

All Marshmallow Lucky Charms 2021

It’s been a dry few weeks for dry cereal news—an odd occasion, since breakfast happenings are usually bustling enough to have me posting a couple times a week without fail. Cereal news is metaphorically true to its namesake, after all: it gets you hungry for a new bowl before you’ve even finished the one you just poured. In comparison, this has been the overnight oats of slow news months.

Nevertheless, there have been a couple news bites worth bringing up: the first of which is the rainbow-spanning return of Lucky Charms “Just Magical Marshmallows.” After years of making All Marshmallow LC boxes extremely rare artifacts you could only win from contests (though I acquired one anyway), General Mills has since stripped the stuff of its mythic stature. Last year, they introduced small pouches of marbits, and now they’re back—even though I never noticed they were gone. Truth be told, I see no practical reason to buy these, given how the oat bits are actually the cereal’s best part, unless you want to melt a big glob of them for the world’s most unicorn puke-tastic s’more.

Oh well, at least the neat new packaging makes it feel like you’re collecting Infinity Stones. Continue reading

News (Mexico): Kellogg’s Krispy Kreme Cereal

New Mexico Exclusive Kellogg's Krispy Kreme Cereal

(UPDATE: Read my full Krispy Kreme Cereal review!)

It’s taken them a long time, but doughnut companies across the world are finally starting to realize something: huh, cereal rings look a lot like doughnuts, don’t they?

Of course, there’s been no shortage of doughnut-themed cereals. From ’80s ancients Dinky Donuts and Powdered Donutz cereals to contemporary classics like Pink Donut Cereal, Hostess Donettes Cereal, and Cap’n Crunch’s Sprinkled Donut Crunch, the dozen-or-so doughnut cereals released to date constitute a well-rounded munch-able microgenre. But with the exception of old-school Dunkin’ Donuts Cereal from ’88, big-name dough-masons never really seized the opportunity to miniaturize their iconic confections.

That is, until recently, when Dunkin’ returned with new (caffeinated!) cereals, Tim Hortons brought Timbits Cereal to Canada, and now Krispy Kreme is completing this veritable NAFTA of doughnut cereals with a Mexico-exclusive cereal based on their iconic Original Glazed rings.

Few fates are crueler cruller than being 2,000 miles from Kellogg’s Krispy Kreme Cereal, but hopefully Kellogg’s brings this glazed goodness stateside soon. For anyone reading this from Mexico, I wish I had more info to share with you about this cereal, but I could only find it on Sam’s Club of Mexico’s website. If you’ve managed to get your powdered sugar-dusted hands on a box of Krispy Kreme Cereal, let me know how it tastes in the comments below.

News: Two New OffLimits Cereal Flavors!

New OffLimits Cereal Flavors

If you’ve read more than a handful of articles on this blog, you’ve probably got a decent handle on what I like—because I gush about my interests and love repeating myself. Gingerbread, PB&J, Waffle Crisp: pretty much the holy trinity of stuff I can’t shut up about.

But I also love indie cereals. Simply put, I’ve been in this game long enough to get a little tired of talking about the same big four corporate cereal monoliths. That’s why I love to see startups like Magic Spoon, Three Wishes, and OffLimits seize the means of spoon-in-milk subduction. OffLimits is a countercultural cereal brand that vocally supports independent art and diversity, and for their brand’s first anniversary, they’re dropping two new flavors. Joining their first two flavors—vanilla & pandan Zombie + chocolate & coffee Dash—are strawberry Spark and cinnamon Flex.

New OffLimits Cereal Glitter

OffLimits is even offering a special birthday bonanza pack, if you want to try all four. Sure, they’re a bit more expensive than your run-of-the-General-Mill fare, but for an organic/vegan/gluten-free indie creation that comes with digital tickets redeemable for real prizes, it’s more like buying an edible piece of culture than a mindless munchie. And hey, if you buy their birthday pack, you’ll even get some cereal glitter, ideal for rolling around in before foam parties at the club, or for ethically chucking in assertive strangers’ eyes.

If you can’t tell—I’m really into OffLimits’ aesthetic. Maybe if all goes well, by their second anniversary they’ll do Gingerbread and PB&J flavors. Maybe they could call them, oh, I don’t know, Snap & Smuck?

News: Monster Mash Fruit Snacks!

Monster Mash Fruit Snacks - Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Frute Brute, Yummy Mummy Monster Cereals

 ♪ It was a graveyard smush! ♫

No, that’s not a typo: it’s a dumb pun, referring to a) the squishiness of these upcoming Monster Cereal fruit-flavored snacks, as well as b) the smushed state of any gravestone that dares bear the sheer squishy mass of ninety fruit snack pouches.

Seriously, these fruit snacks, discovered and kindly shared by Mikey H. on Sam’s Club’s site, are listed in four-pound boxes—no doubt big enough to serve as a fun-sized mausoleum. No word yet on whether Monster Mash Fruit Snacks—the sidecar to this Halloween’s massive menagerie of a Monster Cereal main event—are Sam’s Club exclusive and thus locked to such an insane per-box quantity, but hey, at just $9.98 (eleven cents a pouch!), maybe these are worth stockpiling. If nothing else, I’m sure they’re shelf stable long enough to outlast a Monster-pocalypse, and if not, they’ll probably ferment into Spooky Jungle Juice pouches you can stab with a straw, Capri-Sun style.

While Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Frute Brute, and Yummy Mummy all have iconic flavors associated with their namesake cereals, these fruit snacks seem to mix things up a bit to fit their ambiguous “Spooky Berry” name. Franken Berry, usually strawberry, now appears to be strawberry, cherry, or fruit punch. Frute Brute, typically cherry, is probably lemony here. Boo Berry, in blue, will probably be as vaguely fruity as usual, while Yummy Mummy too will retain his recent orange pedigree. Count Chocula, in an understandable adaptation, looks like grape here instead of chocolate, and we even get a gelatinous green cameo from the Monster Cereal Castle. No idea what green is supposed to taste like, but since green Scooby-Doo fruit snacks were always my favorite, I can see this castle fruit snack giving the gummy Venus de Milo a run for her artisanal money.

No word yet on just when Monster Mash Fruit Snacks will be available, but I’m at least happy we have one more new thing to look forward to this fall, as the summer heat continues to turn my brain into a grey matter Fruit Wrinkle.

News: Clif Bar Cereals

New Clif Bar Cereals

Finally, a cereal for the breakfast fan who loves eating the most important meal of the day in precarious, out of the way, or otherwise naturally awe-inspiring places! Fittingly enough, I’m actually on a bit of a vacation right now, so forgive me if I don’t say too much about these new CLIF Cereals and instead ponder their glory on a kayak in the middle of a sparkling lake.

Debuting in Chocolate & Peanut Butter, Blueberry & Almond Butter, plus Apple Cinnamon & Peanut Butter (also, allegedly Honey & Peanut Butter, though I couldn’t find a photo), these CLIF Cereals are already listed on Walmart.com and available in store. They combine coated flakes and oat clusters with nut butters and sweet extras. However, priced at $7 a box, the cost of entry for each CLIF Cereal is steeper than the rock faces they envision you eating the stuff on. Here’s hoping CLIF Cereal actually tastes good, unlike the similarly priced KIND and Larabar Cereals that ended up being the cereal aisle’s blandest bad value.

News: Cinnamon Corn Flakes

New Cinnamon Corn Flakes

Oh, alright. : )

Was that your reaction to new Cinnamon Corn Flakes? It was certainly mine. What can I say: there’s a reason Corn Flakes doesn’t get new flavors very often. Two reasons, honestly. For one thing, if you’re like me, you’re way more likely to use Corn Flakes to bread something than to eat it as an actual cereal. Secondly, why eat Corn Flakes when Frosted Flakes kinda knock Corn Flakes out of the chicken coop in both quantity and quality of flavor?

But sure, there are plenty of people who like less-sweet cereals, so you reading this may very well be cluckin’ pumped about Cinnamon Corn Flakes. Positively cocka-doodle-doodling little maize-gold hearts in the margins of your diary.

Since Cinnamon Frosted Flakes likewise exist and are good, I’m interested to see how Cinnamon Corn Flakes directly compare. Such a dichotomy reminds me of how Cinnamon Cheerios debuted as a dimmed-down Cinnamon Cheerios Oat Crunch, yet still managed to have a unique cinna-charm all its own.

Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, but not long: Cinnamon Corn Flakes should be hitting stores this month.

News: Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts

Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts Box

Hmm, moustache flavor?

Ooh: sunglasses flavor?

Well, I’m all out of ideas. I guess it’s hard to guess when I haven’t tasted new Mystery Flavor Pop-Tarts, or Mister E. Pop-Tarts, as they’re calling them. At least we won’t have to wait long, as Mister E. Pop-Tarts are hitting shelves this month. Here’s the origin story from Kellogg’s:

“How did this flavor come to be? Rumor has it, a masked culprit broke into the Pop-Tarts factory and created a mysterious and delicious new flavor. Pop-Tarts loved it so much, they hired Mister E, a world-class flavor investigator and title character on the new Pop-Tarts box, to solve the case. 

But Mister E needs help from Pop-Tarts lovers everywhere! Fans are invited to share their best flavor guesses for a chance to win epic prizes. After taking a bite, just scan the QR code on the box to visit the entry website and submit your guess. The sweepstakes opens May 27, 2021.”

Honestly, I’m more interested in whether there’ll be a canonical answer as to who the “masked culprit” was. Maybe that’s just a copyright neutral way of explaining why the mystery flavor is like, Crunch Berries or something.

Ultimately, this isn’t the first time a toaster pastry brand has tested our taste buds with an edible enigma: Walmart’s Great Value Toaster Pastries had a mystery flavor back in 2018. I don’t think the truth was ever fully revealed—and the taste was super generic, so I said “Fruit Punch.” Hopefully Mister E. Pop-Tarts—whatever the heck they are—are distinctive enough to tantalize the tip of my tongue.

News: Team Cheerios & General Mills Oatmeal (x4!)

New General Mills Cereals 2021

CEREAL 2021: RISE OF THE MEALLY OAT

Honestly, I’m starting to think a weird game of telephone went on at General Mills HQ. They heard our continued cries to restore oat flour to their Monster Cereals (which didn’t work), and interpreted it as “people want more cereal-flavored oatmeals!”

But hey, I’m not complaining—because it finally gives me a chance to talk about hot cereal on this site, which I coldly and rarely do, despite claiming to be a blog for all cereal. As you can see in the above image, posted this week by General Mills, there are a number of releases we already knew about, plus some surprises. Namely, Lucky Charms Oatmeal and Cinnamon Toast Crunch Oatmeal (both of which have previously released as Canadian exclusives), plus new Cocoa Puffs Oatmeal and Trix Oatmeal. If I had to guess, I’d predict Cocoa Puffs will be the standout star, as chocolate tends to infuse beautifully into oatmeal—especially when you toss in some chocolate chips that melt into lovely little landmines.

Team Cheerios Returns for 2021

Also of note here is the return of Team Cheerios. This stuff first debuted way back in 1996 to support the U.S. Olympian team, but it stuck around for a few years after as a Wheaties-esque celebration of all things athletic. Interestingly enough, despite the cereals discontinuation, you’ve always technically been able to enjoy the stuff, provided you’re willing to invest in a 96-count box of Team Cheerios Strawberry Cereal Bars.

However, while the original Team Cheerios combined regular, Multigrain, and Frosted Cheerios with an added brown sugar booster, 2021’s reunion is “Frosted Berry” flavored, which I would guess means these are a sweeter version of Very Berry Cheerios. Either way, I’m skipping the milk and eating these with Gatorade for peak performance.