Whether it’s ice cream, cappuccinos, pancakes, or Grandpa’s old 1972 Buick, everything’s better when you cover it in chocolate.
Heck, I was even gonna give you my complete, 5000+ item list of things that taste better when slathered in creamy cocoa, but I couldn’t read it because I covered the list in chocolate. Totally worth it, though: this list tastes delicious.
Rice Krispies Treats are no exception to the rule. Kellogg’s “new” Cocoa Krispies Treats—which have probably been released before—come in original and “with Milk Chocolate M&M’s Minis” varieties. Since that’s like IHOP selling Plain Waffles and Belgian Waffles with Maple Syrup for the same price, I predict that boxes of normal Cocoa Krispies Treats will slowly gather dust on grocery shelves until the zombie apocalypse, at which point they’ll be used and traded as valuable currency.
But I’m not here to talk about disappointing, underachieving, and plain Cocoa Krispies Treats. Today is all about his Harvard-bound, candy morsel-stuffed older brother. Continue reading →
Since I’ll be spending tomorrow stuffing my face with hot dogs while watching others competitively stuff their faces with lemonade-soaked hot dogs, I figured I’d go light today by munching on Kellogg’s seasonal Limited Edition Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies.
Truth be told, I’m glad the only Independence Day-themed cereal available this year (we’ve had Summer Berry Pebbles before) is this one. Since it tastes exactly the same as normal Rice Krispies, I can celebrate this most laid-back holiday of the year with an appropriately laid-back review.
So, uh, yeah: if you’ve had Rice Krispies, then these taste the same. No strawberry or blueberry taste—just neon colored food dye soaked into airy rice crisp niblets. They don’t really taste like anything, for that matter. If you grit your teeth and focus like Jimmy Neutron during a brain blast, there are notes of lingering toastiness, but few people are likely to eat these as a traditional cereal (whether dry or with mush-ifying milk) anyway.
These Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies are destined to be bathed in butter and marshmallow for use in Rice Krispies Treats. I would have made some for the purposes of this review, but I’m saving all my butter and marshmallow fluff for use in my annual “Fourth Of July Butter ‘n’ ‘Mallow Slip’n Slide,” a tradition that I totally didn’t just invent to explain why I don’t have the ingredients for Rice Krispies Treats in my house.
My family just loves apostrophes, okay?
Instead, I made you this to make up for it. These Red, White, and Blue Rice Krispies lose points for not tasting especially fun and for not having enough red and blue pieces, but in the spirit of the holiday, I’ll give ’em a few extra just for being so darn festive. Don’t hesitate to buy a box if you ever wanted to make your own cereal American flag.
Or your own cereal flag for Australia, Cambodia, Chile, the Cook Islands, Costa Rica, Croatia, Cuba, the Czech Republic, Dominican Republic, the Faroe Islands, France, Haiti, Iceland, North Korea, Laos, Liberia, Luxembourg, Malaysia, Nepal, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Panama, Paraguay, the Philippines, Puerto Rico, Russia, Samoa, Schleswig-Holstein, Serbia, Sint Maarten, Slovakia, Slovenia, Taiwan, Thailand, or United Kingdom, for that matter.
Uh, yeah, there are a lot of red, white, and blue flags.
Happy early Fourth of July, everyone: I hope all your fireworks Snap, Crackle, and Pop!
The Bowl: Rice Krispies with Red & Blue Krispies
The Breakdown: They’re Rice Krispies. They taste like Rice Krispies. Also there are red and blue ones. I want hot dogs.
The Bottom Line: 7.4 (see what I did there?) hot dog bun-shaped Rice Krispies Treats out of 10
(Quick Nutrition Facts: 120 calories, 0 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 1/4 cup serving)
(UPDATE: My review of Raisin Bran Raisin & Honey Granola can be found here!)
Oh say can you Krispie?
In a new product announcement this week, Kellogg’s provided a sneak peek at three upcoming breakfast foodstuffs of particular interest to this blog.
First is the above pair of Raisin Bran granola flavors. Sure, Raisin Bran Crunch may already have succulent honey granola clusters, but now we get a whole bag of them. Although the granolas will apparently include puffed rice and crispy bran flakes, too, I like to imagine a far off factory where existing Raisin Bran Crunch has its raisin and granola filtered out, leaving behind mounds of unwanted bran flakes that are ultimately used as housing for displaced woodland creatures.
The other, Cranberry Almond, appears to play off the dubious success of Kellogg’s Raisin Bran with Cranberries cereal. While this is all well and good for bran ‘n’ cran fans, I personally wish we’d get the return of my long lost Cinnamon Almond Raisin Bran instead.
Image via Kellogg
The next announce product was Red & Blue Rice Krispies. Nothing revolutionary flavor-wise, but the bizarre box art of Snap, Crackle, and Pop in full Independence Day gear is compelling enough to make me want it.
From Snap, who looks like your NASCAR-obsessed uncle, to Crackle, who is showing much more arm than usual, all the way to Pop and his gravity-defying hat, this box art belongs in a post-modern art gallery with some pretentious name like “Americana Marshmallow-topia.”
Image via Kellogg
Finally, we have the return of two new “Soda-Mazing” Pop-Tarts we already knew about. A&W Root Beer and Orange Crush promise plenty of classic soda flavor in sugary goo stuffed rectangular pastries. Since these flavors are so exciting, I’m willing to forgive Kellogg’s for not using the real term for the drinks. “Pop Pop-Tarts” has a much better ring to it, and for all doubting the legitimacy my midwestern slang, I ask you this question: they’re not called Snap, Crackle, and Soda, are they?
No word on exact release dates for any of these products, but feel free to discuss which ones you’re excited about in the comments below.
Superman stands confidently, his hands on his hips and his feet floating some six inches off the ground. “I’m the Son of Krypton, the Man of Steel! I’m impervious to bullets and faster than a speeding one. You’re only a man. How can you ever hope to stop me?”
Batman’s eyes glow as he pulls a glimmering, foil-wrapped rectangle from his utility belt. “With Rice Krispies Treats.”
Superman scorches the Krispies into dust with a blink of his heat vision.
Batman looks defeated. “Damn, I packed that for my snack! You better not melt my Capri-Sun and Ziploc baggie of Oreos, too.”
It should come as a surprise to no one that instead of going out to watch the new Batman vs. Superman movie, I’m indoors writing terrible fan fiction about this box of BvS branded Rice Krispies Treats. Each treat comes adorably wrapped and ready for parents to pack for school lunches (uh, sorry about that one, Bruce Wayne). The Treats are adorned with rainbow “candy coated chocolate pieces,” but for Batman’s sake, we’d better hope the green pieces are made of Kryptonite.
My first thought when seeing these was, “if I made my train out of those Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors, I’d probably generate enough Christmas spirit to overclock the Clausometer on Santa’s sleigh.”
And then my second thought was, “They should have dressed Tom Hanks up like Snap, Crackle, or Pop and called this ‘The Polar Krispress.'”
Oh, and then my third thought was, “Crap, crap, crap: people are giving me weird looks for snapping photos of cereal craft kits whilst muttering and chuckling to myself. Play it cool, Dan, and no one will call security.”
So while no, I don’t think these sets are new for 2015, it’s the little things like these kits that makes walking around grocery stores in December feel all the more magical. And if your first thought while reading that was, “who the heck considers grocery shopping a holiday activity?” then congratulations, you’re far more socially adjusted than me.
I also wanted to point out how disappointed I am in my local Meijer for not putting those new seasonal Krispies next to the set: that’s Marketing 101, people!
Either way, I’m eager to make these soon, if only because elaborate food crafts allow me to escape family holiday drama with the excuse of “sorry, I was too busy frosting badass flames on my locomotive-shaped brick of marshmallows and butter to notice Aunt Clara’s meltdown.”
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
With Halloween just 2 days in the grave, you know what that means: time for food companies to go hog wild on marketing for the secularly ambiguous “holiday season.”
Or should I say “nog wild?” It’s about time we got an eggnog flavored cereal.
Now I love Thanksgiving just as much, if not more than the next guy—Mashed Potato-ism is my formally declared religion—but since we’re unlikely to see any turducken flavored cereals in the near future, it’s worth cutting straight to the red and green.
And while I’m not sure if these Rice Krispies Treats are new for 2015, please don’t tell me. I want to preserve the Christmas magic, as if these Treats were marshmallowy embodiments of Santa Claus himself. Let’s review!
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the…wait, no way!
It’s still early October, but it appears Kellogg’s has already decided to start putting Christmas HOLIDAY products onto shelves. I can see maybe doing this around Thanksgiving, but at this point, it’s the cereal equivalent of camping outside Walmart for Black Friday in late August. I expect bright red Valentine’s Day Krispies within a week.
The only logical explanation I can think of is that this actually is a Halloween cereal, and Snap, Crackle, and Pop just decided to dress up as scarf-wearing hipsters.
These special edition Krispies appear to mix red and green pieces with the traditional beige. There is a heavy emphasis on making treats with these in exchange for a toy donation. According to the box, you can easily shape these into spearheads or venomous serpents for your next ceremonial sacrifice.
Wait, you say those are trees and candy canes? Sorry, still got Halloween on the mind.
These Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors were spotted by yours truly at Meijer just last week. I posted a photo of them on Twitter earlier, so be sure to follow if you want to stay on top of cereal happenings.
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Gabe Fonseca is a friend of Cerealously and a fellow connoisseur of cereals new and old. You may even recognize his passion for the topic from his legendary cereal box wall project (have you ever seen something so beautiful?).
We’d love to share with you the latest in Gabe’s ongoing YouTube series detailing cereal favorites from across the expanse of time. These Cereal Time videos are a heaping bowlful of history, nostalgia, humor, and, of course, a lot of sweet, delicious sugar.
This week’s video is a real “treat” for fans of hard-to-find cereals. If you enjoy it, be sure to watch Gabe’s other videos, and give him a follow on Twitter, as well.
So pour yourself some Rice Krispies, grab a cozy blanket, and stay awhile. Because once you Snap, Crackle, and Pop, you won’t be able to stop.
