Tag Archives: cereal bar

Review: Nestlé Lion Cereal Bar

Nestlé Lion Cereal Bar Wrapper Review

Whether it’s a Rice Krispies Treat, a trendy cereal restaurant, or an exam for becoming a certified breakfast lawyer, the term “Cereal Bar” can refer to many things. While nutritionists and choosy moms may disagree with me, I believe that Nestlé’s iconic Lion Bar fits the bill, too. Go ahead and debate me on it, M.D.s and mommies: portable breakfast argumentation was the topic of my Cereal Law School dissertation.

Okay fine, I may not have the degree to back that up, but I do have this European Lion Bar’s ingredient list, which says my lumpy brown cylinder contains “8% cereals.” Plus the lion mascot on the front boasts how the bar is “EXTRA CRISPY.” All you have to do is imagine a floppy striped hat on top of his mane, and this bellowing fellow could join Snap, Crackle, and Pop’s Krispies crew.

Because, as it turns out, the tempting bumps studded below every Lion Bar’s rugged, chocolaty landscape aren’t nuts, chocolate chips, Oreo bits, or entire miniaturized cheesecakes—I know, I was hoping for the last one, too. They’re little bits of wispy crisped rice. And even on my first bite, they popped with a roaring intensity.  Continue reading

Review: Golden Grahams S’Mores Treats

IMG_4603

It’s mid-April, and the last traces of winter are finally melting away. This means that summer, s’mores, subsequent spooky stories, and other things that start with “s” are on their way. So right after I track down that lying groundhog who predicted an early spring, I’m going to load up on graham crackers, chocolate bars, marshmallows, and first aid kits for inevitable 3rd degree burns caused by charred marshmallow magma.

But before I start up any campfires and make Smokey the Bear sweat nervously, I have to pre-game with as many s’mores favored snacks as possible. Last week I munched on the dreamy pillows of Krave S’Mores, so now it’s Golden Grahams’ turn.

Ordinarily, I could just add Cocoa Puffs and Lucky Charms marbits to a bowl of Golden Grahams and call it a day. But it’s an on-the-go kind of busy week, and I can’t carry around a portable torch to roast any marshmallows (I don’t have any angry mobs scheduled). Luckily, General Mills has me covered with Golden Grahams S’Mores Treats.

Will they be satisfying enough to make me postpone that angry mob appointment indefinitely? Enough fluff, let’s get right into the marshmallow fluff!

Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Batman vs. Superman Rice Krispies Treats

IMG_1402

Superman stands confidently, his hands on his hips and his feet floating some six inches off the ground. “I’m the Son of Krypton, the Man of Steel! I’m impervious to bullets and faster than a speeding one. You’re only a man. How can you ever hope to stop me?”

Batman’s eyes glow as he pulls a glimmering, foil-wrapped rectangle from his utility belt. “With Rice Krispies Treats.”

Superman scorches the Krispies into dust with a blink of his heat vision.

Batman looks defeated. “Damn, I packed that for my snack! You better not melt my Capri-Sun and Ziploc baggie of Oreos, too.”

It should come as a surprise to no one that instead of going out to watch the new Batman vs. Superman movie, I’m indoors writing terrible fan fiction about this box of BvS branded Rice Krispies Treats. Each treat comes adorably wrapped and ready for parents to pack for school lunches (uh, sorry about that one, Bruce Wayne). The Treats are adorned with rainbow “candy coated chocolate pieces,” but for Batman’s sake, we’d better hope the green pieces are made of Kryptonite.

Continue reading

Review: Kellogg’s Krave Brownie Treat Bar

IMG_4491I’ve said it before, but it’s worth saying again.

Krave is a divisive cereal. Most people either think it tastes like dog food, or they wolf it down like hungry canines at chow time.

Personally, I love the stuff…with milk. When munched straight out of the box, Krave is usually too bland and mealy for my tastes. But with the addition of milk, each piece becomes a soft, biscuity chocolate lava cake, oozing with fudgy goo.

That’s why I had doubts about trying this Krave cereal bar. Would I end up having to inject it with a syringe full of 2% to make it palatable?

But then I saw the word “brownie,” and my fears went away. The word “brownie” conjures up happy images of Grandma’s homemade dessert and cheerful Girl Scouts peddling delicious, definitely not homemade dessert cookies.

So I had to give it a try anyway. With a name like Smucker’s Brownie, it has to be good. Right? I’ll still make sure to have the nurses prepare a Nesquik IV drip, just in case. Continue reading

Review: Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

IMG_4446Imagine this “Choose Your Own Adventure:”

Your eyes jolt open. You feel more rested than usual, and as you look at the clock and experience a mild heart attack, you realize why—you slept through your alarm!

After dancing your way through a frantic shower (no one’ll notice the shampoo still dripping from your ears, right?) and flailing into dress clothes, you’re about ready to leave before you conclude that if you don’t grab some breakfast, your growling stomach might roar you off the side of the road.

Bursting into your pantry, you have three choices:

A) A bowl of Raisin Bran with milk (eaten with one hand on the steering wheel)

B) A slab of bacon (cooked on a portable skillet plugged into your cigarette lighter)

C) A Kashi GoLean Peanut Hemp Crunch Plant-Powered Bar

If you chose A or B, prepare for a tragic “THE END” to your milk-soaked adventure. But if you chose C like me, turn to the next page and we’ll see if our breakfast choice was any more satisfying than a roadside bacon grease third degree burn. Continue reading