The Empty Bowl Episode Fifteen: Red, White, and Ineffective Camouflage for the Soggy War

Happy Independence Day to my American readers: may your day be filled with high-velocity hotdog eating, low-acceleration lazy rivers, and bowls of watermelon so deep you have to spoon chunks out of the juices, cereal style.

If you find yourself, your cat or dog overwhelmed by loud fireworks or Uncle Paul’s nonstop salvo of cannonballs, you can dive into the placid milky tides of The Empty Bowl Fifteen.

In this episode, Justin and I declassify Cap’n Crunch’s ever-expanding patriotic cereal campaign, lead a hemisphere-spanning investigation into two Mermaid cereals, and give a newcomer to the cereal world some first-day orientation.

Want to keep celebrating your independence from bad vibes? You can find more cereal free-for-alls at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but they all make me pledge my allegiance to you, the kind listener.

As a bonus, you can see what the Cap’n planned for my own holiday weekend. Measuring in at actually 34 pounds, this is by far the wildest cereal gift I’ve been delivered—and as a surprise, at that. Thanks again, Cap: but would it kill you to mix up some Crunch Berry White Claw I could fill it with?

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