*cracks open a cold one of your preferred cereal milk*

Long week, huh? Well, this might sound a little like snake oil, but what if I told you there’s a way you can soothe all your life’s tension in just 38 minutes? Well, your milage may vary, but Dr. Dan & Apothecary Justin’s 500-in-1 Mental Burden Balm is made of all-natural sound, with the perfect wavelength getting out all that crud deep down between your brain’s wrinkles.*

In this latest cereal meditation session, Justin and I raise a glass to Cinnamilk, get down with OCP, and compile a shortlist of Christmas Crunch’s Greatest Hits.

*Side effects of Dr. Dan & Apothecary Justin’s 500-in-1 Mental Burden Balm include drowsiness, increased appetite, and compulsive milk-drinking. If you’d like these effects to last longer than four hours, look for more doses on our Anchor hub, follow us on Twitter, or send us an email!