Re-Review: Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s Cereal (2016)

Trader Joe's Pumpkin O's Cereal Box

As the “days until Halloween” counter drips lower than fake blood from a vampire Basset Hound’s mouth, I think I still have enough spice in my own blood to crank out one more pumpkin cereal review. Besides my annual Monster Cereal analyses, I usually don’t like to re-review the same product multiple years in a row. But like parents whose troubled child keeps getting sent to the principal’s office for doodling giant kaiju lobsters instead of focusing*, we need to talk about Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s.

*I decline to comment on whether this comes from my own personal experience with crustacean artistry.

See, I reviewed Trader Joe’s Pumpkin O’s last year and quite liked them—I gave them a 7/10 for their authentic pumpkin flavor and brown sugar finish. But as I dug into my box this year, prepared for another raucous round of good ol’ fashioned barnyard vegetable fun, I was left with the pained frown of a toddler being forced to eat his own barnyard vegetables.

I don’t know if Trader Joe’s actually changed their Pumpkin O’s recipe or if my taste buds have just undergone a Wolfman-esque transformation in the past year, but I’ve got Bill Murray on speed dial anyway, because there’s definitely something strange in this cereal neighborhood. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Boo Berry Monster Cereal (2016)

General Mills 2016 Boo Berry Monster Cereal Box

There’s only a week left until Halloween, but while everybody else in the world is taping fake cobwebs to their walls and putting the finishing touches on their Pokémon Go-inspired “Sexy Pikachu” costumes, I’m sitting here gazing at a bowl of Boo Berry cereal.

More specifically, I’m wondering why there’s never been a movie tie-in between Boo Berry and Ghostbusters. With this summer’s Ghostbusters reboot now merely a bargain DVD bin memory, General Mills missed their chance to throw noxiously green Slimer marshmallows into every bowl of crunchy blue Boo Berry ghosts. The endmilk would’ve turned roughly the shade of the Jersey Shore’s seafoam, and it would’ve been glorious.

But I’ll have to make do with just Boo. Even without nauseatingly aquamarine dairy, Boo Berry still puts on a heck of a breakfast show. Of General Mills’s 3 big Monster Cereals, Boo Berry arguably has the most devoted cult following. He’s the Rocky Horror of Halloween breakfast options, so for the 2nd year in a row, let’s find out why damn it, Janet, everyone loves Boo.

Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Spooned & Spotted: Kellogg’s Disney Moana Cereal

Kellogg's Moana Cereal Box

(Image via Target & Kellogg’s)

I know nothing about Disney’s upcoming Moana movie, but Kellogg’s latest cereal tie-in with the film still sends my imagination spinning.

What if Kellogg’s played off the movie’s island setting and made this cereal’s crunchy swirls coconut-flavored? What if the orange sun marshmallows taste like mangoes? And what if there’s a mail away offer on the back of the box that let’s you exchange 10 UPC labels + shipping and handling for your very own pet pig?

Deep down, I know none of this is true. Moana Cereal’s hypnotic snail shell pieces are probably just Kellogg’s Cinnabon pieces stripped of all cinnamon heat and dressed up with a sugary syrup glaze. The marshmallows are probably just, you know, marshmallow-flavored. And the real exchange rate of UPC labels to baby pigs is probably way more than 10:1.

I’ll at least give Kellogg’s props for marshmallow innovation here. Instead of including the same white orbs they’re famous for and repackaging them as “whirlpools and sugary seafoam,” there are lovingly crafted, dual color palm trees. I’m still not sure what the blue star marbits are supposed to represent, though.

Probably the 5-star reviews that every critic will give Moana.

This photo was found by yours truly, with help from tipster Gabe Fonseca, on Target’s website after seeing a photo of Europe’s Moana Cereal variant, which, of course, doesn’t have marshmallows. While it hasn’t been spotted in the wild yet, Target’s site says it’s in stock at my local store.

I’ll hop on my trusty travel pig and get back to you.

If you’d like to see your own picture or thoughts featured on Cerealously’s next “Spooned & Spotted” post, all you have to do is head over to our submissions page or email us at

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Classic Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Sprinkled Donut Crunch

Cap'n Crunch Sprinkled Donut Crunch Cereal Box

I love you, Cap’n Crunch, so I’m willing to forgive you for omitting the “ugh” from the name of your Sprinkled Donut Crunch cereal.

See, I’m a doughnut purist. Whether it’s the word’s languid length or its simple, old-world charm, “doughnut” just pleases my eyeballs more than the comparatively blunt “donut” ever could. And for all those about to tell me, “Get with the times, grandpa: writing donut is way faster,” please tell me how much time you’ve actually saved by not typing those three lovely letters. If it’s less than 5 cumulative minutes over your entire lifetime, I’m sticking with my “ugh.

So even though I’m a little upset, after tasting Cap’n Crunch’s Sprinkled Donut Crunch, I realize the real reason there’s no “ugh” in its name: because I never let out a single exasperated “ugh” the entire time I was eating it. This cereal is darn good, and even though it was released shortly before Cerealously debuted, I’m going to make up for lost time by digging into a dozen baker’s dozens-worth of crunchy rainbow loops. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Gimme Five…New Episodes of Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca!

Oreo cookies! Skeletons! Mikey! Cartoon slime! The hippest sea captain you’ve ever seen!

Hopefully that grabbed your attention. It’s been a while since we last checked in with our friend Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series—which spotlights a different cereal each week in a fun and nostalgic way. Decades from now, Breakfast History 101 professors will screen Gabe’s episodes as insightful windows into the cereal culture of days gone by.

Even in the twinkling, chrome future, the teachers will probably still show them on those ancient rolling TV carts, too.

To bring you up to speed on Gabe’s Cereal Time efforts, we’re going to have a viewing party for his five latest episodes. So let’s all build a blanket fort, pop some popcorn, and get cozy, because we’ve got years of memories to relive.

You did remember to bring the powdered nacho cheese topping for the popcorn, right? Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

News: General Mills to Release Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cereal and Caramel Crunch Cereal

General Mills Girl Scouts Thin Mints Cereal and Caramel Crunch Cereal

(Photo via Influenster)

A quick search on this site reveals that I’ve made hopeful jokes about Girl Scout cookie cereals before, from Thin Mints and Samoas to Tagalongs and Do-Si-Dos (sorry, Thanks-A-Lots and Trefoils: come back when you bring more than shortbread to the table).

My frequent referencing probably stems from my childhood love of those cartoon Girl Scout Cookie mascots, but it’s also true that in this world of political uncertainty and constant turmoil, we could all use a bowl of Girl Scout cookies for breakfast right about now. And now that news of General Mills two new Thin Mints and Caramel Crunch cereals has leaked, I can use the excuse that my repetitive humor wasn’t unoriginal—it was predictive.

Just call me Nostra-Dan-us.

The above photos were found on Influenster by the ever-vigilant and wonderful Candy Hunting, so I encourage you to say thanks (and do yourself a favor) by dropping them a follow. It is currently unknown when these two crispy cookie delights will hit stores, but the very fact that they exist is reason enough to host a celebratory backyard campfire.

We’ll make s’mores using Thin Mints instead of Hershey’s bars.

Speaking of cookies, Thin Mints Cereal looks like a recolored, fudgier, and chip-less Cookie Crisp. At the same time, it’s poised to be the first mint chocolate cereal ever. Well, maybe the second—there was that one time I ate Oreo O’s then brushed my teeth right after.

And mere days after I pouted about America not having a caramel chocolate cereal like Europe’s Lion Cereal, Caramel Crunch emerged from the cereal ether to not only fill that void, but to potentially bring coconut into the flavor equation, too.

While it’ll be interesting to see how Thin Mints Cereal and Caramel Crunch Cereal compare to each other, there’s another breakfast showdown I’m more interested in. See, General Mills already has a cereal called Superman Caramel Crunch. So who will be the superior, caramelized king? Will the Man of Steel triumph? Will the guy who’s faster than a speeding bullet be bested by a bowl of these sugar-speckled cookies that look like beefy Cheerios? Or will Werther’s come out of nowhere and beat them both with a box of milk-friendly hard candies?

And the most important question of all: does this delightful news mean that General Mills is forgiven for their recent Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch snub? It’s probably too soon to tell, but if General Mills decided to announce a Peanut Butter Patty Cereal, too, I might be able to answer with a more decisive “yes.”

*wink wink*


Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Review: Trader Joe’s Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal

Trader Joe's Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal Box

I’m 3 packets deep into my box of Trader Joe’s Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal, yet I can’t stop thinking about Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.

Maybe I’m crazy, or maybe this is actually some grand, Illuminati-level conspiracy between Trader Joe and Cheesasaurus Rex, but every bite of TJ’s soft, sopping, and starchy Pecan Pumpkin Oatmeal tastes like mashed-up mac noodles bathed in an autumnal, earthy pumpkin sauce.

Yep, I’m definitely crazy. But before you lock me up in the nuthouse, my pinwheeling legs kicking and my oatmeal-specked mouth screaming “But it ain’t easy being cheesy! It ain’t, I tell you!” as the bars clang shut, let me rewind this whole pumpkin oatmeal snafu. Because despite my nutty introduction, there’s a lot to love about this nutty breakfast. Continue reading

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+

Spooned & Spotted: Cinnamon Star Crunch Cereal

It’s okay. Stars are cool, too. They’re certainly more Christmasy than any old squares—even deliciously buttered sugared squares!

Oh, it’s no use. I’m sitting here trying to justify General Mills’ apparent decision to replace Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch—a 2014-2015 cult classic loved by children, food reviewers, and probably adorable panda bears everywhere—with the grinning, quintuply pointed cinnamon corn puffs seen above. But I just can’t seem to do it. The only way star-shaped puffs could ever be better than Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch would be if General Mills decided to also reuse their shapes to revive Sprinkle Spangles.

I’d sacrifice a fresh batch of gingerbread men to bring back Sprinkle Spangles.

This exclusive sneak peek was provided by our friends over at Junk Banter, whose junk food news and reviews are always on point—or in this case, on all five points.

Junk Banter got this picture of Cinnamon Star Crunch, fresh off the truck and in the backroom of a Target. We can only assume that the cereal will hit shelves soon, likely in early November when the world’s pumpkins and Count Choculas begin their winter hibernation. But while we wait, let’s analyze what can.

This holiday cereal shift has been secretly occurring right beneath our cookie-loving noses for months: it turns out that General Mills filed their “Cinnamon Star Crunch” trademark way back in March. Cinnamon Star Crunch also uses the same packaging design as last year’s Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch iteration, and it also appears to diverge from the typical “Toast Crunch formula” of wheat and rice flour. I predict that cinnamon on corn will produce a dramatically different flavor than we know from Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that these repurposed SpongeBob Cereal pieces stars will soak up milk even faster.

Cinnamon Star Crunch Cereal Box

While this isn’t a complete confirmation that Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch won’t return for 2016, this back of the box image, also generously provided by the sleuths at Encyclopedia J. Banter, only shows Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp as being a part of General Mills’ holiday ensemble. Holiday Sprinkles Cookie Crisp is great and all, but no number of sugar sparkles and awful winter puns can heal the broken heart left behind by an unexpected Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch breakup.

If you’re like me and Junk Banter—who is one of the few earthlings who loves Sugar Cookie Toast Crunch than me—and want to see those snowy, fresh-baked squares return, it’s worth rallying for them on social media.

Maybe we can even get the big man himself to support our cause:

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterPin on PinterestShare on TumblrShare on RedditShare on Google+