Revealed today – two new box designs for Star Wars cereal! #MayThe4thBeWithYou #StarWarsDay #StarWars pic.twitter.com/5nKNnpxDry
— General Mills (@GeneralMills) May 4, 2016
*Cue Star Wars opening credits crawl music*
It is a dark time for the Internet. Although Star Wars Day comes every year on May 4th, corporate Twitter accounts from Hostess to Little Caesars continue to nauseatingly repeat the exact same “May the Fourth be with you” joke all across Twitter and Facebook.
Bringing some substance to this dreaded unoriginality, a group of cereal freedom fighters led by General Mills plans to release two new Star Wars Cereal boxes onto cereal shelves, for the aesthetic betterment of pantries everywhere.
The whiny emo Kylo Ren, obsessed with angst and probably old Nirvana albums, graces one of the boxes, while the heroic Rey lights up the other in a dazzling blue that reminds a certain cereal blogger of those awesome Go-Gurt tubes released for the prequels…
For those keeping score at home, there are now exactly enough Star Wars Cereal variants for you to binge eat a different one while binge watching each Star Wars movie: Darth Vader, Yoda, a different Kylo Ren (with his lightsaber), BB-8, and R2-D2 round out the seven total boxes.
Good luck trying to “Catch ‘Em All!”
Whoops, wrong series.