Tag Archives: apple

Review: Frosted Green Apple Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's Frosted Sour Green Apple Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts Review Box

As I gaze upon these Green Apple Jolly Rancher Pop-Tarts, I must ask: has science gone too far?

A) Yes. Candy and pastries mixing? Next you’ll tell me there are Oil & Water Pop-Tarts.
B) No. Not far enough, actually. I want to see Pop-Tarts flavored Jolly Ranchers.
C) I really don’t care please just stuff neon-dyed dough rectangles into my mouth so I can make my tongue look like a cosmic bowling alley.

I would circle option C, but my hands are too covered in slippery green apple filling to get a grip on a pencil, mouse, or my life.

That’s right: there has been much buzz about Kellogg’s brand new Jolly Ranchers line of Pop-Tarts, which also includes Cherry and Watermelon. Some camps find the idea more nostalgic than spilled Crystal Pepsi in a used record shop, while some would rather drink a Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino through an intra-nasal straw than eat something so potently technicolored.

Me? I’m just happy to be here. I’ll slip past the hype and let the Tarts’ flavors decide their fates. Let’s see if Green Apple is as suckable as its namesake candy, or if it just, well, sucks. Continue reading

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Review: Apple Strawberry Raisin Bran Crunch Cereal

Kellogg's Apple Strawberry Raisin Bran Crunch Cereal Box

Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.

Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.

But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading

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Review: Kellogg’s Limited Edition Frosted Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's Limited Edition Frosted Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts Box

I’ve never considered bobbing for Pop-Tarts before, but after trying Kellogg’s new Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts, I’m ready to fill a 19th century wooden bucket with water and pastries and dive in headfirst.

But before I take my triumphant Olympian plunge, let’s set the stage.

After years of dominance, pumpkin spice is starting to lose its novelty. There are only so many things you can cram ginger and nutmeg into. So like an autumnal retelling of Star Wars, apple-flavored snacks have started a quiet rebellion against the Pumpkin Empire. And I like to think that Caramel Apple Pop-Tarts are their heroic Luke Skywalker.

Luke Apple Piewalker has quite the origin story, too. While these Tarts were only formally announced about two months ago, we first leaked an early release image of them way back in April. Back then, searching for “caramel apple pop-tarts” just made Google think you were drunk.

I wondered whether these neon-squiggled rectangles would ever see the light of day, but I’m happy to say that they have. And now they’ll get to see the warming light of my toaster, too. Continue reading

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