Though the era of McDonald’s “supersize me” option has been gut-wrenchingly sent to a highly processed farm upstate, at least someone is retaining the spirit of giga-scopic food enlargement.
And of all cryptozoological people, it’s Lucky the Leprechaun?
I’m not entirely surprised by this—Lucky has been exceptionally puckish lately—but the surprise doesn’t need to be bigger than my stomach. Nor can it be when it comes to full-size, fully bagged and Jet-Puffed Lucky Charms marshmallows.
Mimicking three of the cereal’s iconic marbit charms—moons, clovers, hearts and non-shooting stars (which, uhhh, aren’t actually Lucky Charms marshmallows)—these ‘mallows don’t mimic the texture or taste of real Charm-bits, either. They’re simply s’more-ready, vanilla-flecked marshmallows.
Ooh, now I’ve got an idea: freshly bonfired Moon-pies. Hope I don’t get dunked on by their Twitter account for that.
According to Lucky Charms, these marshmallows are already available in stores. As I look for them, I’ll be sure to eat plenty of gravel, so that my intestines are already braced for the impact of a whole bowl of these squishy suckers doused in milk. Wait, isn’t that how they make napalm?
Dan, I seriously think that you & Justin need an older, more knowledgeable mentor on the show, a ‘cereal guru’, if you will, as third mic.
You said it in episode 17 of ‘The Empty Bowl’ podcast, and again in this post, which tells me that you guys are far too young to know that ‘orange stars’ preceded ‘shooting stars’ by… DECADES.
The first boxes of Lucky Charms cereal contained marshmallows in the shapes of pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, and green clovers.
The first ‘expansion’ marshmallow came with the introduction of blue diamonds in 1975, followed by purple horseshoes in 1983, red balloons in 1989, green trees in 1991, rainbows in 1992, and blue moons replaced the yellow ones in 1995. In 1997, leprechaun hats temporarily replaced the green clovers, and orange shooting stars replaced the original orange stars in 1998.
The Jet-Puffed stars ARE wrong, however, as the original Lucky Charms star marshmallows were 6-pointed stars, and Jet-Puffed ones are 5-pointed.
I did my research and did not consider the six-point stars to be “the same.” but I appreciate the vigilance!