We interrupt this week’s news blitz of new cookie-flavored and pillow-shaped cereals with something even more exciting: two big honkin’ pillow-sized bags of cookie cereal!
Just as Post is launching Mega Stuf Oreo O’s in bagged form, its subsidiary cereal kilns at Malt-O-Meal are cranking out dozens of dozens of little cookies to fill bags of new Cold Stone Creamery and mainline Malt-O-Meal Cookie Bites.
Cookie Doughn’t You Want Some is the latest (and most cumbersomely named) entry in Malt-O-Meal’s partnership with Cold Stone Creamery, which launched with the lame party of Birthday Cake Remix and fantastically grahamed Our Strawberry Blonde.
The Cold Stone flavor this is modeled on is popular for a reason. It includes “French Vanilla Ice Cream with Chocolate Chips, Cookie Dough, Fudge and Caramel,” i.e. the only things a human needs for eternal happiness. Cookies Doughn’t You Want Some appears to simplify the formula a great deal, only boasting cookie dough-flavored cereal with marshmallows. I sincerely hope the cookie dough base brings more nuanced, buttery or eggy richness than other cookie cereals, rather than this just being Cookie Crisp with Marbits.
Because then I’d have to call Officer Crumb to raid M-O-M headquarters with a wrongful impersonation affidavit.
Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites are, on the surface, less exciting—this will just be a Cookie Crisp x Cinnamon Toast Crunch hybrid…just like a certain other S. Doodle cereal we saw last year. Yes, the unmistakable similarity between Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites and Millville Snickerdoodle Kookies may just be the missing link my frantic Millville identity investigation needed (warning: this link contains incoherent rambling), even if it still can’t connect Bay Valley Foods in my half-baked diagram.
So whether or not Snickerdoodle Cookie Bites is worth the Royal Family-sized bag investment remains unclear, but between M-O-M’s ongoing mythos of Millvillainy and CDYWS?’s unforgivably punctuated wordplay, this is bound to be a refreshing summer of breakfasts anyway.
The best news? Both of these cereals have already been spotted at Woodman’s stores. If you’ve tried either, let us know what you think in the comments. Or if you’ve spotted something crunchy, crumbly, or otherwise, you can share scoops and photos on our Submissions page!