News: Three New Kids Cereals from LOVE GROWN FOODS

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Image via LOVE GROWN FOODS on Facebook

(UPDATE: I reviewed all three cereals here!)

Before you even ask it, allow me to answer your first question: yes, these cereals are made from beans. And your second question: no, from my experience, it’s not as crazy as it may sound.

Either way, all you real human beans out there will soon have three fresh options to pick from for your own little kidney beans to enjoy (see what I did there?). As excitedly announced by LOVE GROWN FOODS on Facebook (maybe their name is in all caps because they’re always excited?), the latest in their string of bean cereals are Comet Crispies, Polar Puffs, and Sea Stars, and they’re kid-focused with colorful designs.

I can only imagine that the chocolatey Comet Crispies were made by none other than Pow himself. Pow, the forgotten fourth relative of Snap, Crackle, and Pop, must have grown jaded after his brothers kicked him out of the quartet back in the 1950s. So he created this alternative to Cocoa Krispies as revenge. (Note: none of this is true)

Polar Puffs have a unique blend of blueberry and vanilla flavors. Both of these are rare on cereal shelves, but seeing them both together is like seeing a polar bear stroll through Manhattan. Let’s just be glad they didn’t go with Coca-Cola flavored puffs for this one.

Finally, Sea Stars are fruit flavored, and they get to join the exclusive club of star-shaped cereals which includes Christmas Crunch, SpongeBob cereal, Cocoa Puffs with Stars, and, of course, Swedish Chef’s Cröonchy Stars.

Look for all three navy, lentil, and garbanzo bean cereals in stores soon (you should be able to find and buy them at Kroger and its family of stores). And while they’re made to be kid-friendly, you all better believe that I’ll still be shoveling them into my hungry mouth like a bean farmer with his trowel.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: love grown foods. Leave a comment

Jan. ’16

Review: ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal

Being on a soft food diet sucks.

But being a cereal review blogger on a soft food diet sucks harder than Starkiller Base on the energy of a sun.

While I was able to stockpile several cereal reviews before undergoing this wretched tooth surgery, at the moment my palate has been forced to gum down meal after meal of oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, I love oatmeal, but after packet #6 it starts to feel like a beige, mushy nightmare.

However, I figured it was only fair to toss out a review of one of the oatmeal varieties I’ve tried for the first time. It’s ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal. I don’t know how new it is, but I don’t actually care enough to wade through the silly string of Google searches necessary to find out.

I’d also like to add that one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to start writing some shorter reviews, so those that don’t want to wade through labyrinthian walls of parentheses and references to decades-old fruit snacks will still enjoy this site. My other New Year’s Resolution was to line up an entire package of Keebler E.L. Fudge Cookies and topple them like dominoes, but that’s beside the point.

On to the review! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, non cereal, oatmeal, peanut butter. 1 Comment

Jan. ’16

Review: Nature Valley Chocolate Oat Clusters Cereal

We miss you, Honey Bunches of Oats with Real Chocolate Clusters. We miss you and wish you would come home.

I’ve lost count of how many years have passed since Post took my favorite HBO variety from me (6 or 7, I think, though that’s like a lifetime in cereal years). That cereal and I were meant to grow old together, Post! We were meant to retire in the countryside and call each other “honey” and “sugar” and chuckle happily.

But instead, you took it to “a farm upstate” and tried the Poochie approach of “upgrading” it into the inferior Honey Bunches of Oats Morning Energy Chocolatey Almond Crunch (note: Honey Bunches of Oats Morning Energy Chocolatey Almond Crunch died on the way back to its home planet).

Why am I telling you this story? Because after seeing Chocolate Oat Clusters, one of three new Nature Valley Cereals, I’ve been forced to relive these traumatic memories. But can this cereal overcome the shadow of its spiritual predecessor (even though they come from different companies)?

Time to wipe away my tears (which have been falling like chocolate rain) and find out.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, general mills, nature valley. 7 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Special K Nourish Apple Raspberry Almond Cereal

(EDIT: For those curious, I reviewed the other flavor of Special K Nourish here!)

New hobby: going into Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods and counting the number of ways I hear “quinoa” mispronounced. It’s amazing how many different Frankenstein’s word monsters can be created with just three syllables.

But I won’t judge. After all, I’m the same guy who simply refuses to pronounce “gyro,” “ricotta,” or “gnocchi” properly out of some bizarre sense of pride.

Anyway, that was my attempt to make an interesting introduction to a cereal that sounds boring, but actually has a lot more going on than any eavesdropped Whole Foods conversation. I know what you’re thinking: “Another Special K cereal with a name that takes longer to say than it does to eat? I’ll pass.” But just hear me out. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 5 rating, kelloggs, special k. 9 Comments

Jan. ’16

Spooned & Spotted: Kellogg’s Frozen Cereal (2016)

Really? Another movie cereal with oat pieces and marshmallows? I understand the desire to stick to traditions, but c’mon, Kellogg’s, can’t you just…let it go?

I apologize if I’ve made that awful joke before, but to be honest, I’ve never seen Frozen, so any jokes I make about it will have to be based off of that single song I know from the movie. I guess when it comes to that particular joke, I just can’t let it go.

Someone please stop me.

And while many cereal aisle regulars know that Frozen cereal has been around for awhile, these new boxes are a little bit different. The original cereal only contained blue and white snowball marshmallows (which Kellogg’s later reused in Froot Loops with Winter Blast Marshmallows, because when it comes to that style of marshmallow, they just couldn’t…you know where I’m going with this).

But this new box (the two images above are from a single box with different images on each side) that I say at Kroger also features swirling blue and purple snowflake marshmallows!

I don’t know if cosmetically different marshmallows will be enough to breathe new life into this cereal line, which also uses the same shape for its oat pieces as Jif cereal (maybe there’s hope for a peanut butter and jelly and marshmallow fluff cereal?). But what I do know is that the addition of “new marshmallows” instantly makes me think of this classic Simpsons scene.

If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: kelloggs, movie cereals, spooned & spotted. 3 Comments

Jan. ’16

Cereal Time with Gabe Fonseca: Shrek Cereal and “Cereal of the Month”

Stop right there, dear reader!

Stop and check yourself!

You better check yourself before you…Shrek yourself!

And why is that? Because we would hate for you to miss the latest two entries in cereal maven Gabe Fonseca’s Cereal Time YouTube series. His videos have more layers of fun and nostalgia than an onion, a cake, and an ogre combined!

The first video we’d like to share details the rich and marshmallowy history of Shrek branded cereals. And while our days of seeing new movies featuring this ogre may be over, it’s fun to look back at just how many cereals he’s had his name attached to.

From the standard oats and marbits mix to a box of particularly green bootleg Froot Loops, Shrek has had some pretty appetizing cereals…which is surprising for a character who bathes in the swamp!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cereal time, general mills, kelloggs, movie cereals. Leave a comment

Jan. ’16

Review: Batman vs. Superman Cereals

There’s a war going on, cereal fans. A war on breakfast!

And no, I don’t mean the ongoing blood feud between Pop-Tarts and Toaster Strudel (though the latest news is that Kaiser Doughboy is attempting a surprise attack on a troop of Frosted Blueberry pastries just east of the toaster).

No, this new battle is one of superheroic proportions. Just in time for the upcoming Batman vs. Superman movie, DC Comics (which I can only assume stands for Delicious Cereal) has licensed a new cereal for each of the famous combatants.

Don’t ask me why, but Superman was bestowed the power of “Caramel Crunch,” while Batman pulled “Chocolate Strawberry” out of his utility belt. Which will be the hero of your tastebuds? Let’s wait for the artificially flavored smoke to clear and find out!

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, caramel, general mills, movie cereals. 14 Comments

Jan. ’16

Review: Smorz Cereal (2015)

Do you see that, cereal fans?

“We asked for it,” and “It’s back!!”

With not one, but two—count ’em—two (2) exclamation points! That’s how you know Kellogg’s means business. We’ll just forget the part where s’mores are a traditional summer treat and the ice on my driveway just made me slip head over heels like Charlie Brown kicking a football.

But who can be upset when Smorz, one of the most-missed discontinued cereals, is back? Well, maybe fans of S’Mores Crunch (keep dreaming, friends).

Do Smorz hold up to the not-too-distant memories we have of them? Memories of the early 2000s that are filled with Backstreet Boys CDs, post-Y2K relief, and American Idol viewing parties? Let’s find out! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, kelloggs, s'mores. 11 Comments