Banana Caramel Cheerios? More like, Caramel Banana Cheerios!
That’s it.
That’s the whole review.
Go on, you’ve got like, Neopets to feed, right?
…
Okay fine, I’ll elaborate. Continue reading
Tag Archives: caramel
Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Caramel Crunch
See this?
*gestures vaguely at each pixel of my blog*
Everything your backlit screen touches is his.
Cap’n Crunch’s, that is.
Sure, Cerealously was inspired by my lifelong love of breakfast cereal, but no other figure encapsulates the imaginative id of cereal culture quite like Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch. Maybe it’s because—unlike General Mills and Kellogg’s who have entire cinematic universes of familiar, oft-interacting mascots and the cereals they hawk—Quaker really only has the Cap’n’s self-contained, yet expansive, milky mythology (Life and the like don’t count to me because they aren’t character fronted, but full due respect to the based grain that is Quaker Oatmeal Squares).
Kooky characters like Wilma the Winsome White Whale, Chockle the Blob, and Crunch Berry Beast aside, Cap’n Crunch has also debuted an impressive arsenal of epic flavors across his many decades in the biz that’ve helped fuel his nostalgic legacy. You’ve got Oops! All Berries, sure—arguably the single most iconic definition of a hallucinogenically artificial cereal flavor—but I could go on and on honoring the Cap’ns service to tastebuds everywhere, from Choco Donuts and Sprinkled Donuts to Punch Crunch and my personal favorite, Orange Creampop Crunch.
Long history short, other cereals are appetizing, but only one is Crunchatizing, so I’m always excited to taste the Cap’n’s latest. But is Chocolate Caramel Crunch his greatest? Let’s break-fast it down. Continue reading
Review: Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch
This is a tough review to write.
For one thing, its name and eye-catching box art alone are sure to make Dulce de Leche Toast Crunch one of this summer’s most hyped cereals. Second, there’s a lot going on here: like if someone threw a bunch of butter and caramel and milk and cinnamon and ten other things from a confectioner’s cupboard into a washing machine—and then threw that washing machine, plus a dryer and two fridges (for good measure) into an industrial rock tumbler.
But as your friendly neighborhood cereal blogger, I will do my darnedest to demystify these squares and their witch’s brew of golden goo. Continue reading
News: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Caramel Crunch + Churro Bites!
Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch is a weird guy. In fact, I once wrote an op-ed about how the Cap’n is one of the last remaining bastions of cereal’s ’80s & ’90s golden era, back when off-the-wall breakfast gimmicks were a dime a chocolate-coated dozen. While other cereal brands were trying to remove artificial ingredients and promote active, on-the-go mealtimes, Cap’n Crunch was still wack-adaisically dropping Creamsicle and Cotton Candy cereals—not to mention atomically colored Slurpees and pancake syrup.
And don’t even get me started on Canuck Crunch.
On one hand, it's sad there's no maple flavoring here. But at the same time, I love how this calls the geopolitical loyalty of the Cap'n's military service entirely into question https://t.co/rdBZOurYcI
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) May 12, 2021
As a result, I’m always eager to see what else this kooky Cap’n and his detached eyebrows has up his nonsensically nautical sleeves.
That said, I’ll admit Quaker’s latest Chocolate Caramel Crunch isn’t quite as inspired as the Cap’n’s other seafaring fare—the combo of chest pieces and flavored Crunch Berries reminds me of the lackluster Chocolatey Berry Crunch. But I am interested to see if there’s better caramel flavor here than in the likewise *meh* Cap’n Crunch’s Caramel Popcorn Crunch. Continue reading
Bite-Sized Reviews: Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites & Caramel Popcorn Chocolate Toast Crunch Remix
Did someone order fast food? Because I’m back with a quick, drive-through tweet reviews of two new cereal pouches in my pantry that aren’t quite substantial enough to chew over for the full length of a blog post. Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites are now on shelves alongside regular, honey Big Bites, while Chocolate Toast Crunch Remix has debuted with Cinnamon Toast Crunch Remix and Golden Grahams S’Mores Remix.
Do note, that for fans of my full-length reviews, I’ll be posting more soon once a) I clear up my review backlog and b) my wild whirlwind life passes this hectic phase. Keep it crunchy, folks!
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Chocolate Honeycomb Big Bites have no reason to be pouched. There's like 3 bowls' worth in this, the pieces are barely bigger than normal HC, plus they're only alright. Mid-grade cocoa powder flavor that beats Cosmic Brownie Cereal, but not Chocolate Eggo. pic.twitter.com/IrjxrS7oei
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) April 2, 2021
BITE-SIZED REVIEW: Choco-Caramel Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the most interesting of GM's 3 pouched Remixes. The cereal pieces are alright, but caramel corn MAKES this, with its buttery sweetness & golden milk-proof armor proving popcorn deserves a place in a real full-sized cereal. pic.twitter.com/JOkDktO9ED
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) April 2, 2021
News: Caramel Corn Pops
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Welp, another one to cross off the “how have they not done this yet?” list. Here’s hoping PB&J Reese’s Puffs, Fluffernutter Reese’s Puffs, and White Chocolate Reese’s Puffs are next.
I…I really like peanut butter combos.
Yes, Caramel Corn Pops seems like an incredibly obvious cereal idea. And yes, it has technically been done before. When Kellogg’s introduced their Jumbo Snax line of supersized snacking cereal pouches last year, there was a caramel-flavored Corn Pops variety—except they bafflingly used puffs (the shape of Canadian Corn Pops) instead of the chewy half-popped lumps we’re used to from the brand.
But now those glorious, squeaky gobs of toasted maize have been caramelized too. With its baseball aesthetic, we can probably surmise that Caramel Corn Pops will hit shelves near or before April 1, the MLB’s 2021 opening day.
Do I think they’ll be good? Hard to say, since Corn Pops has a very scant track record of flavored variants. Besides the Jumbo Snax, I’ve only ever reviewed Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops on this site. And they were only okay. If anything, caramel will probably be a more natural fit.
Now if we’re talking seasonally specific cereal themes, how might we go about getting those PB&J Reese’s Puffs by back-to-school season?
News: Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts
Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts. Has a nice ring to it.
No, seriously: I think it’s Trochaic Tetrameter—assuming you pronounce it “car-mel,” which I realize is a reckless assumption.
Let’s make one thing clear: Pretzel Pop-Tarts are pretty darn good. Like Gone Nutty Pop-Tarts before them, they shake up the crust game instead of just the flavor. Both of the line’s debut flavors, Chocolate and Cinnamon Sugar, were sweet & salty & scrumptious, so I have little doubt that Salted Caramel Pretzel Pop-Tarts will be up to the same standards. These have already been spotted on Meijer’s site—thanks to Candy Hunting for the initial tip—so they’ll probably hit shelves within a month or two.
Now that Pretzel Pop-Tarts have crossed another reasonable, if not a little uncommon, pretzel flavor pairing off their pastry to-bake list, I wonder where they’ll go next. Here’s hoping we get Peanut Butter Pretzel Pop-Tarts before Whole-Grain Mustard.
Review: Dunkin’ Donuts Cereal – Caramel Macchiato & Mocha Latte
Not since the egg predated the chicken has such a causality dilemma been posed: “but first, cereal” or “but first, coffee”? I’m sure you’ve seen the latter phrase emblazoned on countless Etsy shirts and flea market embroideries—right next to the Live, Laugh, Love pillows and fat chicken kitchen décor—but with cereal serving as a perfect toothsome preface to just about any activity, sometimes one can face cognitive gridlock when forced to choose between a warm mugful and a cold-milked bowlful.
But worry no longer, crunchy koan ponderers, because Post & Dunkin’ have teamed up to reanimate the Donut-slinging brand’s cereal division, which has laid dormant since Ralston stopped making their chocolate and glazed goodies in the late ’80s. Granted, these two new cereals are based on coffee drinks rather than doughnuts, but that simply gives you an excuse to dunk a real cruller in your caffeinated cereal endmilk.
Yes, it is this last point that makes Dunkin’ cereals so significant—there have been mainstream coffee-flavored cereals before, but none that dared bring real bouncy bean juice into a supermarket aisle already known for sugar-rushing young kids: the last demographic that needs more energy. Sure, Dunkin’ cereals only contain 1/10th the caffeine of a cup of coffee per serving, but if my own childhood cereal consumption velocity is any indication, those perky percentiles will add up fast—the length of a single SpongeBob episode kind of fast.
But enough pep talk, let’s simultaneously eat and drink our breakfast. Continue reading