Milk Chocolate Graham

Choco Graham Pop-Tarts

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Why’d they stop making MCG PTs

Bring Back Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tarts

Ope, sorry, I thought this was Google for a second. You see, it’s been eight years since Pop-Tarts, for their 50th brand-iversary, brought retro flavor Milk Chocolate Graham back to shelves (it’s original release date is unclear, but way before I was born), and I still haven’t gotten over it. The little things were pretty unassuming and didn’t yield many rave reviews, but I adored them for their graham forwardness and the way they eschewed the fluffy filler of S’Mores Pop-Tarts to focus on that campfire treat’s real most defining components.

To this day, Milk Chocolate Graham is my favorite Pop-Tarts flavor ever, and chocolate Pop-Tarts in general are my favorite toaster pastry genre, so whenever a new Choco-Tart drops, I muster a few feeble prayers in hope that the new kid on the fudgy block will live up to the precedent set by the likes of Chocolate Fudge, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and yes, Milk Chocolate Graham.

Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts are the latest such Tart in the Brotherhood of Sweet, Sweet Brown—the first new chocolate Pop-Tart flavor, in fact, since 2020’s phenomenal Chocolatey Churro. But are these BCD Pop-Tarts an answer to my prayers, or the cruel curling of a monkey paw’s middle finger? There’s only one way to find out, and it involves wiggling my own fingers whimsically with a “don’t mind if I do” muttered in my empty kitchen.

Now, what exactly is a Boston Creme Donut? Is it flavored with all the baked beany, clam chowdery goodness of its home city?

Not quite—the Boston Creme Donut is, of course, a toothsome translation of the Boston Creme Pie, itself the mid-19th century oven child of a pudding cake pie and a Washington pie (which is actually a cake, two spongey, jam-sandwiched layers of cake). But this Donut/Pie/Cake/Pastry’s genealogy is irrelevant: the point is that these Pop-Tarts are supposed to imitate the signature chocolate fondant and custard filling they were inspired by.

And they half succeed!

Yes, to a chocoholic like myself, the chocolate frosting here did disappoint me—these Pop-Tarts lack any substantial chocolatiness, instead retaining a choco-little kiss of the stuff, a proverbial fudge-pecked feather in this pastry’s cap, if you will. Instead, Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts rely on the principle of C.R.E.A.M.: Custard Rules Every and Any Mouthful. I have to give these Pop-Tarts credit, honestly, for how well they nailed the buttery, vanilla-y, and even slightly eggy custardiness of the glistening quasi-golden goo that fills these pastries.

It’s a unique and perfectly pleasant taste, and the crust/chocolate are welcome, albeit subtle, complements, though it was quickly clear to me that a temperature change would be in order to unlock these Tea Partying Tarts’ true potential.

And let’s just say a positive temperature change didn’t have a correlating effect on the quality. Which is to say, my own personal weird distaste for toasted Pop-Tarts popped up here again with Boston Creme Donut.

I’ll admit, I can’t fully explain it. I guess I just feel like the browning and crisping of the crust makes that element the charred star of any toasted Tart, at the cost of everything else’s palate prominence. Sure, the custard still shows up in every bite, but toasting cuts the already subtle chocolate out of the picture entirely, producing the Pop-Tart equivalent of tapioca pudding on toast. It’s got the texture of a fresh donut, sure, but with only two dimensions, toasted Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts fall a bit flat.

Yep, if you’re a regular Cerealously reader, you knew this was coming: Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts taste way better frozen than at any other temperature.

WWE Ice Cream Bars. That’s the only edible analogue you need to think about (though they did release these bars with Rugrats designs, too). Once chilled, these Pop-Tarts take on a cookie dough-esque texture, complete with the frozen custard that also kind of tastes like cookie dough. The chocolate doesn’t really get a bump in presence, but it doesn’t get downgraded, either, and the whole package feels more complete, balanced, nostalgic, enjoyable, tasty, yummy, and, um….good.

Overall, Boston Creme Donut Pop-Tarts stay pretty true to their eponymous dessert, especially when you consider that most filled donuts are overfilled to the point of gushing their innards with slapstick gusto. Chocolate Pop-Tart fans might be disappointed, and Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tart fans might still feel unfulfilled at an existential level, but anyone looking for a novel Pop-Tart that’s unique without being tiresomely one-note will enjoy these custardy suckers.

The Bowl: Boston Creme Pie Pop-Tarts

The Breakdown: If you think custard really cuts the mustard, you’re going to love these, but if you’re looking for equal input from our fond friend Mr. Chocolate, you might find yourself desperately gnawing the roofs of these pastries just for a reprieve from the attention-hogging frontman that is the filling.

The Bottom Line: 8 23andMmme results out of 10