The universe is all about balance. Land and sea. Sun and moon. Muffin tops and bottoms. That’s why the next logical, equalizing step for FYE after making a picturesquely peaceful Bob Ross cereal would have to be something both revolting and soul-squirming.

Perhaps forged from society’s collective reaction to Maple Bacon Donut Cereal, Garbage Pail Kids Cereal will bring upchuck-inspired marbits to enjoy in your kitchen, bathroom, or vomitorium.

As always, FYE is known for releasing $10+ collectible cereals like these, boasting pop cultural icons and generally generically flavored cereals that make better curio cabinet staples than pantry stockers. Garbage Pail Kids Cereal changes the typical oat-ringed equation slightly, swapping in “Crazy” rosy rice crisps. And for all the initial gross-out power the barf-bit marshmallows bring, there’s no indication that they’re anything more than colored sugar cylinders.

Guess they couldn’t reach the folks at Bertie Botts in time.

And in true GBK fashion, there are trading cards inside, as well. I’m not much of a fan of the series itself, but as long as this line has nothing to do with the uncanny creepiness of the Garbage Pail Kids movie (click with caution), I’m content condoning this cereal—mostly for its historical value as the first, and hopefully last, cereal themed after human bodily fluids.

Now I can safely shelf my idea for a Superman ice cream-colored cereal themed after the four humours.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall at FYE HQ when they dreamt up this one…

Having watched all of Breaking Bad during its original TV run, drawn my own Heisenberg shirt, and laughed at Breaking Bad Comics ’til they mineral-ed my socks off, I’m fascinated to see that the show’s legacy is still going so strong nearly six years after its fateful series finale. FYE, who have already released cereals based on Rugrats, anime, and modern American “children’s” horror games, have now set their sights on Albuquerque. Not unlike Walter White himself, this time around they’ve cut out the middleman between mouth and marshmallow, ridding their (admittedly expensive) cereals of any oat-y imperfections to make boxes of 100% pure “Blue Sky Crunchy Marshmallows.”

Dubious drug references aside, these mildly profane (put the kids to bed) marb*tches are apparently both naturally and artificially flavored. I still haven’t decided whether I’ll go in on a box—I promised Walt I’d stay out of his territory, after all, if he stayed out of the cereal blogging game—but I am curious to see what these might taste like. Bubblegum? Cotton Candy? Rice ‘n Beans?

If you’ve tried these, let me know in the comments below. In the meantime, I’ll just pray that the conceptual sequel to these Oops! All Lucky Charms Moons is a shingle-specked box full of Crunchy Roof Pizzas.