Tag Archives: ice cream

Review: Malt-O-Meal & Cold Stone Creamery Our Strawberry Blonde Cereal

Malt-O-Meal Cold Stone Creamery Our Strawberry Blonde Cereal Review Bag

Are you prepared for this responsibility?

I sure hope so, because we already have this Strawberry Blonde. It’s not just your Strawberry Blonde or my Strawberry Blonde.

This is Our Strawberry Blonde, so if you weren’t ready to telekinetically eat this cereal with me, then you shouldn’t have decided to trade your usual Cocoa Krispies for an infant-sized bag containing a revolutionary gastronomic feat that blends honey graham squares (Golden Grahams who had their identities stolen), strawberry puffs (rarely seen pieces that I hope were stolen from the JIF PB&J dumpster at the Kellogg’s factory), and the perennial favorite: “marshmallows” (looking as amorphously rotund as always).

It’s a daring pairing, but after witnessing the transformative taste bud magic of Malt-O-Meal and Cold Stone Creamery’s other cereal pairing, I wouldn’t be surprised if this reunification of three potent cereal powers turns saucily sorcerous.

Care to scream with me?

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Review: Banana Split Dippin’ Dots Cereal

General Mills Banana Split Dippin' Dots Cereal Review Box

What will the cereal of the future look like?

Long dubbed the ice cream of the future, Dippin’ Dots’ (I’m gonna need to order another box of apostrophes) famous evolution was both the atomization and flesh-ripping frostification of the classically amorphous dairy treat using dry ice.

Since there’s already been cereal with freeze dried ice cream bits, any truly revolutionary cereal will have to up the ante from there.

Micro-chipped cereal for GPS-powered “Breakfast Go” mobile games? Zero calorie Diet Cereal (or at least translucent Crystal Cereal?)?

Ooh, or maybe a 100% All Beef Hot Dog Cereal…you know…to compete with Dippin’ Dots’ at the ball game?

Regardless, General Mills’ new Dippin’ Dots Cereal is here, to the delight of many and the frustration of one, and I’m going to see if it’s as innovative as its namesake by first trying the flavor that fits with this week’s theme of banana  madness: Banana Split!

(If I die of a potassium overdose, blame whichever Banana in Pyjamas has a higher net worth.)

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News: Dippin’ Dots Cereals are Coming Soon! Cookies & Cream & Banana Split

General Mills Cookies & Cream Dippin' Dots Cereal

Take me out to the ball game, keep me out of the crowds. Buy me some peanuts and Dippin’ Dots, I don’t care…if you want to watch the game, I’m gonna go eat my Dippin’ Dots in the car.

Yes, Dippin’ Dots’ futuristically chilled, innovatively tongue-tearing ice cream spheres were a nostalgia-bearing reprieve from boring childhood sporting events, and now General Mills is turning them into two cereals: Dippin’ Dots Cookies & Cream Cereal, and Dippin’ Dots Banana Split Cereal.

This is very clearly a retaliatory jab at all the great cereal Post (with its puppet company Malt-O-Meal) has been releasing, as this pair of ice creamy flavors isn’t just a clapback to M-O-M and Cold Stone Creamery’s cereals, but it’s a round of clapback applause to Oreo O’s and Nilla Wafer Banana Pudding Cereal, too.

We may be entering a new age of cereal war, folks, which of course only means good things for hungry cereal lovers who get to reap the deliciously creative collateral damage.
General Mills Banana Split Dippin' Dots Cereal

The most promising thing about these cereals? In both serials, the Clusters actually contain milk! This means they aren’t simply cheap artificially ice cream-flavored gimmicks, but they’re actually powered by lactose.

I expect many moos and ahhs to come.

Shout-out to Cereal Party for finding both cereals on Walmart’s website, assumedly debuting soon. I hope neither I nor the cereal melt in the summer heat before I can find it.