While General Mills dropped their entire Early 2021 cereal lineup in one concentrated dump of rendered cardboard, Kellogg’s is sharing their New Year’s offerings in drips & drabs. with each of the products pictured here hitting headlines across the past week or so.
First we have two cereals on opposing ends of the sugary–healthy cereal spectrum. Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats clearly has no reservations about frosting full-gloss, twinkling and gooey cinna-bun flavor atop its thatched squares. Granted, Frosted Mini-Wheats variants often aren’t flavored that potently, regardless of how rich their dessert inspirations may be. In fact, while I’m sure Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats will taste just fine, this isn’t entirely new territory for the brand. Cinnamon Roll Frosted Mini-Wheats Little Bites were around in 2012, and I’m a firm believer in the superior flavor of Mini-Mini-Wheats—simply because they have a higher frosting-to-wheat ratio.
Likewise, Special K with REAL WHOLE BLUEBERRIES seems kind of like a downgrade from Blueberry and Lemon Clusters Special K, which may not have had whole blueberries, but it had freakin’ yogurt clusters. That’s way more deserving of an obnoxiously all-caps box banner. But hey, it’ll probably also taste alright, if not good!
Next up we have a pair of cereal bars from what are arguably Kellogg’s two biggest cereal brands. Now I’ll be honest: I don’t give a tiger’s behind about Frosted Flakes Cereal Bars. What’s it gonna taste like? A crispy sugar brick? Nah, nah: give me Toucan Sam’s kaleidoscopic rectangular prisms, with their iridescent wonder and evocations of the greatest cereal bars to ever exist: the O.G. Froot Loops Milk & Cereal Bars. Both these and the cereals above are appearing in stores now!
Kellogg's is dropping a new Raisin Bran Toasted Oats & Honey cereal. Since Raisin Bran ~Crunch~ already has honey and oat clusters, this may be the strangest niche varietal the breakfast aisle has seen in a while. pic.twitter.com/0KvjlL8Bg5
— Cerealously 🥛🥣 (@cerealouslynet) December 3, 2020
Oh! One more thing: in January, Raisin Bran Toasted Oats & Honey Cereal will hit shelves. It will become perhaps the most redundant cereal since Double Chocolate Krave with More Chocolate. I mean, the literal difference between Kellogg’s Raisin Bran and Raisin Bran Crunch is the latter’s crunchy honey oat clusters. But now, Kellogg’s is retconning honeyed oats into the vanilla Raisin Bran (no, not that one) canon. Who knows, maybe the oats will work better when smithereen’d and scattered. Straight up Raisin Bran has much different flakes than Raisin Bran Crunch…but I won’t say more now. I actually just got my hands on a box and will be reviewing soon.
Which new Kellogg’s release excites you the most? Feel free to share in the comments.