News: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Clusters

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We’re saved!

Wait, on closer inspection: we’ve been duped! Bamboozled! Positively smeckledorfed!

Let me explain. This saga started in June of 2019, when Kellogg’s inexplicably and abominably reformulated Rice Krispies Treats Cereal, making it a shallow shell of what it was born to be. Gone are the sticky, marshmallowy toasted rice clusters, replaced with plain ol’ Frosted Krispies and a smattering of marbits. Embarrassing? Yes. But irredeemable? Also yes, but that’s been the case since they changed from the iconic teal box to a purple one.

For a moment, it seemed like the crisis has been averted by General Mills and Lucky Charms, because early, grainy box art of a Lucky Charms with Crispy Rice Clusters appeared. But just when we needed him most, Lucky and his Clusters vanished—and the concepted cereal was presumed extinct for two years.

Until, of course, the above box appeared on Meijer’s website. Perhaps GM just needed the extra two years to make this stuff great, right? After all, both Dunkin’ Caramel Macchiato and Honey Maid Cinnamon Graham Cereal had similar origin hiatuses, and they ended up tasting awesome. Well, now I’m not so sure.

You may notice that these Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters are still a corn-based cereal, like just about every forsaken LC variant that isn’t the oat-laden original. Why it took General Mills two years to change their Rice Krispies Treat-alike into another, Monster Cereal-esque corny trick, I don’t know. I just know that, in these few months leading up to Lucky Charms with Marshmallow Clusters’ release, I will be treating it with apprehension.

I’ve just…been betrayed too many times before.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: general mills, lucky charms, news. 5 Comments

Mar. ’21

News: Lemon Creme Pie, Tropical Mango, Peach Cobbler, & Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts!

(Updated after the fact to include Banana Creme Pie)

You know what they say: good things come in threes. And pouches of two. Within boxes of eight.

No matter the quantity, this is some quality news for fans of fruity Pop-Tarts. I’ve discussed before how if you like Pop-Tarts, you’re probably in one of three camps: a Fruity Freak, a Chocoholic, or a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Purist. And for that first camp, this unexpected trio is sure to make you, well, a happy camper.

Between Lemon Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, Tropical Mango Pop-Tarts, and Peach Cobbler, only lemon and mango have appeared in Kellogg’s toaster pastried form before—in fact, Pink Lemonade Pop-Tarts are returning to shelves as we speak/drool, so I wonder what will be different about Lemon Creme Pie. Regardless, the stand-out flavor here is Peach Cobbler, marking a bold foray into the Pop-Tart world for everyone’s favorite butt-shaped fruit.

These flavors can already be found on grocer Meijer’s website, though it will likely be a few weeks before they start hitting shelves. Which of the three has got your mouth watering like a juiced melon?

After I posted this, Kellogg’s also announced Banana Creme Pie Pop-Tarts, which will be store exclusives. No word on which store yet, but since these are 16-packs, it’s probably safe to assume Walmart.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: kellogg's, news, pop-tarts. 5 Comments

Mar. ’21

Review: Wonderworks Keto Friendly Cereal (3 Flavors!)

Obligatory disclaimer: I don’t eat a keto diet, so my palate is not hard-wired to seek out cereals like General Mills’ new Wonderworks trilogy. However, since it’s a new release from a big cereal manufacturer, I likewise feel obligated to give it a try. So while Wonderworks is in a totally different flav-o-sphere than the likes of Reese’s Puffs or Cocoa Puffs, I hope to at least give you an idea of which flavor is most worth a try.

Because, let’s make this clear, one of these three flavors is way better than the others. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: chocolate, cinnamon, general mills, peanut butter. 21 Comments

Mar. ’21

News: Froot Loops Gummies

Move over, Venus de Milo, there’s a new disarmingly charming gummy in town.

These Froot Loops Gummies from the artisan gummy sculptors at Galerie Candy appeal directly to my pectin-pumping heart. I’ve always loved gummy candy, from gummy worms and blue sharks to Sour Patch Kids, Krabby Patties, and 3-ft gummy boa constrictors. Everything but Swedish Fish, which wow me about as much as those flimsy red fortune-telling fish. Plus why settle for Swedish Fish when you have sour octopi?

Speaking of sour, I hope these Froot Loops Gummies have at least a little bit of tang. Some preliminary tasters seem to suggest so:

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Regardless of their pucker power, Froot Loops Gummies are bound to be tasty if they’re accurate to their namesake. They’re coming out this Halloween season, but you can literally sign up for Froot Loops Gummies notifications through Galerie Candy if you’re truly loopy for these sweet, sweet chews and don’t want to wait a day too long. Through that link, you’ll also see this incredibly simple but no less convincing description for the Gummies:

These bags of Froot Loops Gummies come in two sizes and taste exactly like Froot Loops in gummy form. This new item is delicious and fun and we can’t wait for you to try!

Delicious and fun? Well, that’s all I needed to hear! Time to refresh my email for seven months straight.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, kellogg's, non cereal. Leave a comment

Mar. ’21

News: Froot Loops Cereal Straws Return after 12 Years (Cocoa Krispies Straws, Too!)

Have you ever watched helplessly as your favorite breakfast product disappears from shelves, lost to the dark sea of indefinite corporate discontinuation? I’m sure most cereal fans have been there before—from Milk Chocolate Graham Pop-Tarts to Cap’n Crunch’s Orange Creampop Crunch, I’ve certainly got my fair share of long-lost loves.

In this state of morning munchie mourning, you’ve probably thought, “I’ll start a petition to bring my fav back!” And while this is certainly an inspiring idea, it’s always been impossible to tell whether even the most popular cereal petition could successfully reanimate a dead product from its grainy graveyard.

Well, until now, because Kellogg’s has outright said that a fan petition to bring back Froot Loops Cereal Straws is exactly what’s making it happen. So there you have it: all you need to bring back a discontinued snack is 12 years and over 81,000 signatures.

Existing from around 2007–2009, Froot Loops Cereal Straws made a huge nostalgic impact in a short time. I’m not gonna say they were functionally the best breakfast innovation—the things are so fragile that a nearby sneezing bee could reduce each straw to shards and rubble—but these cereal straws were still so fun. From cereal milk to smoothies, everything was fair game to suck up with these suckers. Heck, I was even tempted to go to town on one of those shimmering rainbow oil puddles.

Froot Loops Cereal Straws, as well as Cocoa Krispies Cereal Straws, will return to shelves this October in 5, 18, and 24 count sizes. No word yet on whether Apple Jacks Cereal Straws, which also released over a decade ago, may return, too.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: froot loops, kellogg's, krispies. 1 Comment

Mar. ’21

News: Trix Treats Cereal Bars

T-T-T-Trix-ity Treat ya’self, before you…uh….cheat ya’self, out of a sweet new cereal bar from General Mills!

Now, Trix cereal bars are far from new. They’ve existed in several different shapes and ill-advised artificiality-free forms. So what’s unique about this newest version? Well, nothing, really. We’ve seen General Mills use this same dinky lil granola bar structure to Treat-ify every cereal from Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch to Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese’s Puffs. They taste fine, and usually do a pleasant job translating their namesake cereals into a more portably snackable form.

They’re just too darn small! They may be fine come October for giving to Trix or Treaters, but at *just* 16 bars a box, I’ll be Hungry Hungry Hippo’ing these faster than you can say “wait, you’re already done? I didn’t even think of anything to say…”

Trix Cereal Bars are out in stores now.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: cereal bars, general mills, news, trix. Leave a comment

Mar. ’21

Review: Three Wishes Fruity Cereal

Hope you’re ready to get buff enough to box Tony the Tiger—and fit enough to out-flex that show-off Special K logo—because I’ve got a whole bunch of healthy grown-up cereals backing up my review queue like an overdose of dietary fiber. I certainly don’t mind eating more sensible cereals—neither do my general practitioner and one-day descendants—but I’ll admit they’re a bit less fun to write about. If I can’t use this blog’s favorite adjective, buttery, then what’s the point?

That said, I’ve stated before how, out of all the Magic Spoons and Catalina Crunches of the world, Three Wishes is probably my favorite grown-up cereal brand—and certainly the most consistent. Besides their unflavored variant, which simply isn’t for me, the brand’s Honey, Cinnamon, and Cocoa versions are all solid and taste naturally sweet with few-to-none of the funky aftertastes that plague this grain-free cereal subgenre.

However, those flavors are small steps compared to the final frontier that is fruitiness. In my years of cereal journalism, I’ve found that fruitiness is far harder to deeply infuse into cereal pieces than something more straightforward, like cinnamon. As a result, the base cereal grain has a stronger palate presence, so if you’re eating a lazy, licensed corn-based fruit cereal, you’re gonna have a breakfast that’s as sucky as it is starchy. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: three wishes. Leave a comment

Mar. ’21

Review: Apple Pie LäraBar Cereal

Nine. From esotericism and enneagrams to The Beatles, it’s a number of power, a symbol of completion. But can nine ingredients alone complete an ambitious, expensive cereal?

Seriously, here are a couple other foreboding nines with an upside-down one in front: $6.99 for a box of LäraBar Cereal. I’m sure you, like me, are now thinking in your most Napoleon Dynamite-like inner voice, “that’s almost a dollar an ingredient!” When news first dropped about three LäraBar Cereals—Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip, Cashew Cookie, and Apple Pie here—I did not deem them worth driving off and paying for, especially since the similar-sounding and same-priced KIND Bar Cereals debuted to damning reviews.

But General Mills sent me a sampler of their early 2021 new releases, and it included today’s LäraBar Cereal flavor, so I might as well take it for a spoon. I am grateful, after all, even if the other two flavors sound more like my sugared bread & cocoa butter review fare.

Apple Pie LäraBar Cereal does indeed have only nine ingredients listed: whole grain oats, honey, rice, sunflower seeds, dried apples, almonds, coconut oil, sea salt, and cinnamon. Turns out, one of these ingredients ends up dominating 90% of Apple Pie LäraBar Cereal’s entire flavor profile. Can you guess which? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: apple, cinnamon, general mills. 1 Comment