Spooned & Spotted: South Korean RED Oreo O’s!

If you read yesterday’s review of Mega Stuf Oreo O’s and were equally miffed by its tepid take on the Oreo cookie’s fantastically vast sea of cereal possibilities, then I’ve got some good news for you—from across the widest ocean.

Perhaps sensing a disturbance in the cosmic balance of Oreo O goodness, the South Korean makers of the world’s finest sandwich cookie cereal have emerged from their hermetic caves of creativity with a new flavor worthy of the Seal of Oreo Imagination.

Channeling Taylor Swift, these new Oreo O’s dub themselves only as RED, leaving the breakfaster to interpret whether they are flavored with strawberries or the ichor of the Oreo O’s mascot’s vanquished enemies—whom he has presumably leveled with a milk tidal wave caused by a seismic body slam.

Not only are the omnipresent marshmallows tinted a charming rose-quartz, but the thick Oreo O rings—which you’ll notice are far different than America’s Oreo O’s—also bear clusters of red blood cells instead of white.

But wait, that’s not all! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: international, oreo o's, post, strawberry. 3 Comments

Jun. ’19

Review: Mega Stuf Oreo O’s

Has the Stuf-ification of society reached a creamily critical mass? Has the waxing trend of ascetic minimalism led cookie fans to ditch their earthly possessions and irrational need for continually and ridiculously escalating Stuffiness?

As we discussed on the latest Empty Bowl episode, all the gimmick Oreos in the world still can’t hold up against the O.G. version—except for Oreo Cakesters, of course, but that’s a topic for another time…or an entire dedicated fan site. So while I’m beyond happy that new Mega Stuf Oreo O’s bring the cereal back to its Extreme Creme glory days, I have to keep in mind these changing cultural conceptions surrounding Stuf. It appears crispy chocolate is eclipsing buttery goo in popularity once more, putting Mega Stuf Oreo O’s to the ultimate test of modernized–retro willpower.

(Just know that whether this cereal flounders or not, human records will forever have this 3000-pixel wide HD Oreo Cakester photo.)

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, oreo o's, post. Leave a comment

Jun. ’19

News: Spidey Berry Pop-Tarts Are Swinging Into Stores!

♪ Spidey Berry, Spidey Berry, likely made by some dude named Gary.
Filled with goo, and maybe fruit; this blogger’s in, hot pursuit.
Look out, here comes the Spidey Berry! ♪

Just like Marvel’s sequel-happy universe, the Spider-Man Pop-Tart canon just keeps expanding. First we saw the 2002, Tobey Maguire-era Spidey-Berry Pop-Tarts, which featured a Wildberry filling perfect for a post-Pizza Time dessert. Then for 2012’s Amazing Spider-Man movie, we got YUM-AZING Vanilla. Now as Spider-Man: Far From Home is hitting theaters, Kellogg’s is rebooting Spidey-Berry into a hyphen-less version that trades the Wildberry for a comparatively less interesting Raspberry filling.

(Is Raspberry anyone’s favorite Pop-Tart? If so, you may have been bitten by a radioactively malevolent Raspberry Pi AI.)

What is more interesting is the printed icing, which can apparently be scanned through you phone to unlock an “online adventure,” hopefully one worthy of Mysterio’s own illusions. My excitement over this features stems entirely from the box’s prompt to “SCAN YOUR TART,” a three-word phrase that, on its own, has definitely never been written before, but which also references a single Pop-Tart as a Tart, something I’d never expect from a big, trademark-consistency-protecting company like Kellogg’s.

So while there’s nothing flavorfully new about Spidey Berry Pop-Tarts, already available online and in stores, the fact that breakfast is now a digital commodity means that we’re one step closer to summoning holographic monsters by sliding a Pop-Tart into a Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Disk.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: kellogg's, movie cereals, pop-tarts. 1 Comment

Jun. ’19

News: Kellogg’s UK Launches White Choc Coco Pops

As one legend falls, another shall rise.

Just as Kellogg’s U.S. has made the borderline despicable choice to make Rice Krispies Treats Cereal a crudely deconstructed caricature of its former, cult-favorite self, Kellogg’s U.K. is bringing its version of Cocoa Krispies to a bold new frontier of flavor.

Fronted by Coco the monkey, a mascot that once blessed boxes of U.S. of Cocoa Krispies from 1991-2001, White Choc(olate) Coco Pops are the first introduction of white chocolate into a cereal brand that I can think of, outside of Hershey’s Cookies ‘n’ Creme cereal (which is still appropriately and anachronistically present on Kmart’s website). That cereal was a bit of a flop, which puts the onus of white chocolate revelry squarely on Coco’s shoulders.

But hey, at least he hasn’t been uncannily CGI’d yet, unlike a certain trio of elves who now appear to be haunted wax sculptures.

While I’m unsure whether I’ll ever get the chance to taste White Choc Coco Pops, it’s no doubt been a good month for Kellogg’s U.K., who also stirred up a lot of buzz by making three different beers from the production waste of Corn Flakes, Coco Pops, and Rice Krispies—meaning that if I can’t get my hands on White Chocolate Pops, I might be able to sooth my sorrows soon with a tallboy of White Chocolate Poppin’ Porter.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: chocolate, international, kellogg's, rice krispies. 4 Comments

Jun. ’19

The Empty Bowl Episode Thirteen: Fillow Talk

Hold your memory foam pillow tight and tell it to take the night off: for now, the only thing you need to remember is that good-good stuff we call cereal. So fill your cleanest pillow case with milk ‘n’ Fruity Pebbles, because it’s time to sink your noggin into The Empty Bowl Episode Thirteen.

On the latest episode of our “meditative podcast about cereal,” Justin and I talk cookies, cookie dough, and cookies + creme; discuss the weighty matter of new Fillows Cereal; and plumb the depths of cereal’s rich media history. Give it a listen while you fall asleep, fall in love, or fall under the spell of Cookie Jarvis.

Got a long night ahead? You can find more cereal lullabies on tape at our Anchor hub, follow along on Twitter, or send in a listener question. We can’t discuss or respond to every email, but they definitely make the work day go by faster.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: empty bowl. Leave a comment

Jun. ’19

Review: Drumstick Cereal (Two Flavors!)

Serious question: at what point does a ‘new’ cereal just become breakfast trail mix?

Not trying to knock General Mills before trying their newest cereal, of course, but the latest and second-laziest trend of new cereal ideation (behind crude ‘mallowfication, of course) seems to be creating Greatest Hits collections of other cereals so it can be called something distinctly new. Post has done it, and Kellogg’s does it every day at their cereal café.

Whether it’s collaging or crate-digging, sampling is surely a treasured technique of assemblage. But would people rather have a pastiche of cereals past, or an actual Trail Mix Cereal with roasted peanut flakes, nutty raisins (a la Raisin Nut Bran), and chocolate morsels?

(Sorry for the specificity; I’ve been contemplating pouring milk in my 10-pound bag of Sweet & Salty Mix all week.)

For better or worse, General Mills’ new pair of Drumstick Cereals tweak the past to create an ice cream of the future (no, not that one). Launching in both Classic Vanilla and Mint Chocolate, each pairs Golden Grahams and Cocoa Puffs with newly flavored disk pieces familiar from Cookie Crisp. Turns out I had mixed feelings. To pre-conclude, as much as the back of the box tries to bamboozle us with fancy new piece names, I can’t help but wish this cereal was a cerealverse crossover instead of something Drumstick branded.

Can’t you picture Sonny the Cuckoo and Chip the Wolf surfing on Golden Graham pieces across a honeyed sea? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 4 rating, 7 rating, chocolate, general mills, mint. 9 Comments

Jun. ’19

Review: Cap’n Crunch’s Cotton Candy Crunch

For most of my life, I thought the best thing about cotton candy was its mascot: that nameless pink monster who not only looks like the lovechild of Mr. Bubble and a loofah, but who also deserves a place at the Halloween breakfast table right next to Chocula and his ilk.

But now that I’ve grown into a bubbly loafer of an adult, I’m just as enthralled with cotton candy’s many monikers around the world. It was first called ‘dragon’s breath’ in China’s Han dynasty around 200 CE, ‘candy floss’ in many European countries today, ‘sugar spin’ in Norway…’grandma’s hair’ in Greece…and…uhh…’dad’s beard’ in France.

And here I thought eating cotton sounded unappealing. “Better fluff than follicles,” as my clean-shaven dad always said.

Thanks to Quaker and Cap’n Crunch, we now have a new way to talk about cotton candy: with our mouths full. By turning the melt-in-your-mouth ephemera of cotton candy into something crunchy and tongue-stable, the Cap’n is expanding his line of wacky one-offs with Cotton Candy Crunch.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a nearby circus or country fair to review (and deep fry) this stuff at, but luckily, I’m enough of a clown that I feel qualified to taste test it from the comfort of my big honkin’ bed. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, cap'n crunch, quaker. 14 Comments

Jun. ’19

Spooned & Spotted: Rice Krispies Treats Cereal (New “Recipe”)

So this is how a legend dies.

With an epidemic of marshmallows.

I’m usually pretty positive about new cereal news. Whether it’s a sour cereal or a savory cereal, I’m always willing to give iffy premises the benefit of the doubt. But this? This is egregious. The most insensitive offence since Alpha-Bits annihilated what little cereal clout they had left.

Yes, Rice Krispies Treats, a big-time cult favorite cereal since its 1993 debut—even as it became harder to find in recent years—is “back” with a “new recipe” that Kellogg’s somehow thinks we won’t notice is a complete abandonment of what made RKTC so good.

The cereal was comprised of small Rice Krispies clusters: demurely unfrosted versions of today’s Snap, Crackle Poppers that were bound by a buttery marshmallow goo that was the real star of the show. It was a clever facsimile of a real Rice Krispies Treat—think a thematic cousin of Powdered Donettes, and just as sweet.

But now? It’s (Frosted) Rice Krispies and Marshmallows. That’s it, folks. Show’s over. Kellogg’s has already made some dubious decisions lately to make a half dozen cereals all using the same flavor profile of “sweetened sugar ring,” and now they’re continuing the pandemic replacement of creativity with marshmallows, while also lobotomizing a modern cereal myth. I’ve spotted this certainly new and dubiously improved stuff at Target, but it should be everywhere by now.

I’ll give Kellogg’s a dainty sliver of benefitted doubt that the Krispies might taste different here (it does say sweetened toasted rice), but if you don’t see a review of it on this blog soon, it’s probably because my sliver was shattered.

Rest in smaller pieces, my deconstructed old Treat. Let’s remember the good times:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=38l0S0YaVAQ

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: kellogg's, rice krispies. 82 Comments