Production Assistant Jupiter says, “You’ll pay for this foolishness in belly rubs.”
Is it not foolish for one of humankind’s creations to claim perfection? Are our works not destined to be beautifully flawed, lest we, in our Icarian hubris, overstep our mortal boundaries in selfish pursuit of godliness?
Something tells me Kellogg’s cutesy-tootsy Caticorn knows nothing about the myths of yore. If it did, we’d likely be gorging ourselves next to Medusa Bran* instead of some declawed creature dreamt up to steal Lisa Frank’s market share. It’s clear from the box alone that not only is Caticorn Cereal kind of unoriginal: its claim of “Berry Purrr-fection” sets a bar so high, it’s Herculean—especially for just another mixed fruit cereal.
As of right now, Caticorn Cereal at least has exclusivity going for it. It’s only available at Sam’s Club for the time being, before rolling out to other stores. But determining whether it’s worth buying a massive, 2.3lb Pandora’s box of it (that contains two cinderblock-sized boxes of its own) is up to my humble taste buds and limited pantry real estate.
*Inspired by my recent cereal mix idea, Medusa Crunch would combine Oreo O’s with gummy worms and freeze-dried pudding pieces for a truly stunning flavor combo. Just call me Purrr-seus.
