Tag Archives: malt-o-meal

News: Two New Malt-O-Meal Cookie Cereals!

We interrupt this week’s news blitz of new cookie-flavored and pillow-shaped cereals with something even more exciting: two big honkin’ pillow-sized bags of cookie cereal!

Just as Post is launching Mega Stuf Oreo O’s in bagged form, its subsidiary cereal kilns at Malt-O-Meal are cranking out dozens of dozens of little cookies to fill bags of new Cold Stone Creamery and mainline Malt-O-Meal Cookie Bites.

Cookie Doughn’t You Want Some is the latest (and most cumbersomely named) entry in Malt-O-Meal’s partnership with Cold Stone Creamery, which launched with the lame party of Birthday Cake Remix and fantastically grahamed Our Strawberry Blonde.

The Cold Stone flavor this is modeled on is popular for a reason. It includes “French Vanilla Ice Cream with Chocolate Chips, Cookie Dough, Fudge and Caramel,” i.e. the only things a human needs for eternal happiness. Cookies Doughn’t You Want Some appears to simplify the formula a great deal, only boasting cookie dough-flavored cereal with marshmallows. I sincerely hope the cookie dough base brings more nuanced, buttery or eggy richness than other cookie cereals, rather than this just being Cookie Crisp with Marbits.

Because then I’d have to call Officer Crumb to raid M-O-M headquarters with a wrongful impersonation affidavit. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: chocolate, cinnamon, ice cream, malt-o-meal. Leave a comment

Jan. ’19

Review: Malt-O-Meal Peanut Butter Cookie Bites

Look, I don’t know much about sacred geometry, but I’m still going to thank it. Whatever Euclidian miracle is allowing my long-lost (or so it feels) Waffle Crisp to live on in spirit post-discontinuation deserves my praise. And Waffle Crisp’s memory isn’t being preserved in just one cereal analogue, either: Chicken & Waffles Cereal, which I’m ashamed to have just casually typed, is be bringing back the real, bite-sized Belgian thing; but Honey Bun Cereal presented an interesting, if not geometrically adjacent, twist on the concept.

The most important similarity is their source: Waffle Crisp and its latest subspecies are all made by Post. Post just happens to own Malt-O-Meal, making the economically bagged and bulging cereal company’s new Peanut Butter Cookie Bites a technical tangential relative of Waffle crisp, too. Though these PB pieces are round, I simply can’t disown them from my mental retcon of Waffle Crisp genealogy, as they have their father’s tic-tac-toed belly.

But will Malt-O-Meal’s Peanut Butter Cookie Bites live up to its nostalgically syruped parentage, or am I simply using this long-winded introduction to cope with Waffle Crisp’s disappearance? Better try coping calorically to compare. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, malt-o-meal, peanut butter. 6 Comments

Dec. ’18

News: Malt-O-Meal Peanut Butter Cookie Bites is Coming Soon!

So Post, a Nutter Butter, and a hacksaw walk into a bakery…

No joke: Malt-O-Meal’s latest upcoming cereal circles look like bisected pieces of their parent company Post’s delightful 2017 Nutter Butter Cereal. And I’m all here for it.

Peanut Butter Cookies Bites was announced in typical fashion by M-O-M. By which I mean it appeared on their website with absolutely no warning or fanfare, left to be stumbled upon like a corporate Banksy piece commenting on PR hype cycles. I only found out about it with the continued help of @miss_tortellini on Instagram.

Yet the real reason I’m excited for PBCB is more than just their heritage as a legumically mutated cookie child of Chocolatey Chip Cookie Bites. More so, it’s the pragmatic potential of this cereal if it really ends up tasting just like Nutter Butter Cereal (which I’m considering a preemptive fact, solely to validate my already-sent-to-print Cereal Biology textbooks depicting these two cereals as different stages of PB mitosis).

Because where Nutter Butter Cereal had a serious spoon real estate problem, what with their big ol’ double waffles of goodness and all, I’m hoping these cookies are small enough to fit an average Christmas party treat tables’ worth of cereal in each bite.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: malt-o-meal, peanut butter, spooned & spotted. Leave a comment

Jul. ’18

Review: Malt-O-Meal & Cold Stone Creamery Our Strawberry Blonde Cereal

Are you prepared for this responsibility?

I sure hope so, because we already have this Strawberry Blonde. It’s not just your Strawberry Blonde or my Strawberry Blonde.

This is Our Strawberry Blonde, so if you weren’t ready to telekinetically eat this cereal with me, then you shouldn’t have decided to trade your usual Cocoa Krispies for an infant-sized bag containing a revolutionary gastronomic feat that blends honey graham squares (Golden Grahams who had their identities stolen), strawberry puffs (rarely seen pieces that I hope were stolen from the JIF PB&J dumpster at the Kellogg’s factory), and the perennial favorite: “marshmallows” (looking as amorphously rotund as always).

It’s a daring pairing, but after witnessing the transformative taste bud magic of Malt-O-Meal and Cold Stone Creamery’s other cereal pairing, I wouldn’t be surprised if this reunification of three potent cereal powers turns saucily sorcerous.

Care to scream with me?

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 9 rating, graham, ice cream, malt-o-meal, marshmallows, strawberry. 9 Comments

Jun. ’18

Review: Malt-O-Meal & Coldstone Creamery Birthday Cake Remix Cereal

Okay, here’s the scoop:

I’ve wanted to start out a review with “here’s the scoop” since I started this blog.

There, now that I got that out of the way, here’s the review:

Birthday Cake Remix is one half—alongside Our Strawberry Blonde—of a landmark partnership between Malt-O-Meal, classically known for their economy-sized cereal bags, not for their industry clout, and Cold Stone Creamery, a left-field ice cream chain with about as much breakfast aisle experience as Meow Mix.

Seriously, this is about as expected as Malt-O-Meal teaming up with Stone Cold Steve Austin to release “And That’s The Bottom Lime” cereal.

So not only does Malt-O-Meal & Cold Stone’s Birthday Cake Remix open the door for other zany cross-category cereals in the future (I’m lookin’ at you, Insomnia Cookies), but it also opens my mouth.

For cereal to enter.

Because I’m ready to eat it now.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 7 rating, birthday cake, chocolate, malt-o-meal. 2 Comments

May. ’18

Review: Malt-O-Meal French Toasters Cereal

Malt-O-Meal definitely lives in an alternate universe—an alternate timeline, if you will. In this version of breakfast reality, Cookie Crisp was less corny, Count Chocula never changed after the ’90s, and Post didn’t release Oreo O’s first—that’s like America losing the Space Race!

Oh, and French Toast Crunch’s squared form survived Y2K.

What do I mean? Well if you recall, French Toast Crunch—the clear ancestor of Malt-O-Meal’s French Toasters—started as bread shapes, changed to curved, Cinnamon Toast Crunch-like swirled squares, then disappeared (or at least disappeared to the Canadian tundras, where they remained available through 2012) until their 2015 rebirth. Yet now, here’s French Toast Crunch bizarro cousin, keeping tradition alive.

It took me too long to find this cereal (it came out a year ago—but my stores haven’t carried it until now. I blame the second coming of bread-shaped cereals), so I’m looking forward to some closure on my search for: it’s time to see if F. T. Crunch’s dark reflection (and I mean that in the best way) can keep its flavor modern.

Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, malt-o-meal, maple. 12 Comments

Jan. ’18

Review: Malt-O-Meal Double Chocolate Brownie Crunch Cereal

This review goes out to you, 54-year old Larry P. from Tampa Bay, Florida.

You don’t actually exist, Larry, but you are an archetype of consumer both I and countless underpaid cereal customer service reps have had to deal with for the past two decades.

You’re the guy who complains on every Monster Cereal post about how Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry just aren’t as good as they were during your childhood growing up in some rural place that resembles the house from Courage the Cowardly Dog. You’re the guy who lambasts the cereals’ change from oat flour to corn flour as borderline cataclysmic, a harbinger of dark times that probably brought us reality TV and bluetooth headsets, too. And you use General Mills’ blog comments section as your impromptu soapbox.

So even though you are a persistently vocal one, Larry: you’re right. Oat flour does rock, and Malt-O-Meal’s newest cereal, Double Brownie Crunch, proves it with a masterful blend of fudged flours. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, chocolate, malt-o-meal, marshmallows. 14 Comments

Sep. ’17

Review: Malt-O-Meal Chocolatey Chip Cookie Bites Cereal

“That dude seriously needs to cool it with the cookie cereal.”

—actual quote (I wish I were joking) overheard from two girls at Walmart who watched me buy a 2-pound bag of Malt-O-Meal Chocolatey Chip Cookie Bites, ponder my life, then go back to grab a box of Cookie Crisp, too

Yes, I didn’t plan to spend $10 on crunchy, artificially chocolate chip cookie-flavored ellipsoids, but here we are. At least they didn’t see me haul this plastic leviathan onto my balcony and grumble “stupid shiny cookie bag” as I struggled to get a good photo.

But enough public embarrassment. Let’s talk Malt-O-Meal. I don’t always pay attention to the brand—let alone buy it—since their (admittedly very affordable) cereal always seems to taste a little too cheap, with the heavy bag imparting some chemical chintziness into every piece. But when I heard* that Malt-O-Meal, who has already Malt-O-Meal-ified just about every other major cereal, from Cap’n Crunch to French Toast Crunch, was wading into a hitherto untouched cereal frontier, I had to try it for myself.

Even if my apartment’s limited storage space forces me to (literally) spoon with the cereal bag to make room. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, general mills, malt-o-meal. 6 Comments