News: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros, Cookies ‘n Creme Fillows, & XL Reese’s Puffs are Coming to Snack Pouches Near You!

Could this be the greatest cereal clapback since the birth of Malt-O-Meal and subsequent baggification of cheapened famous cereal formulas?

Let me explain: last month, Kellogg’s launched its redesigned Halloween cereals, the skeleton-marshmallowed Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, and Chocolate Frosted Flakes.

Call it hungry conspiracy-theorizing, but maltodextrin foil hat-wearers like me saw this as a potshot at General Mills’ recycled Monster Cereal theme, as the outfits and marshmallows of Kellogg’s creatively costumed characters directly mimicked GM’s full, albeit estranged, monster quintet.

While some were quick to dismiss this as another Cinnamon Toast ghost story, General Mills’ latest new product debut feels like more than a rebuttal to Tony’s trolling: it’s a brazen bombardment of breakfast counterintelligence.

The boring premise: the maker of Cheerios and Lucky Charms has released three new pouches of snackable cereals—likely designed to be eaten as either a milked cereal or merely a mindless munchie. They’ve already been spotted at Hy-Vee by Katie K. on Instagram (big thanks!).

The first is Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros, a cereal I’ve known about in rumor form for a few weeks now. Katie sent a pic of the cereal proper, proving that this is an entirely new, admittedly rather un-cereal-like shape for the classically squared cereal and its bready brethren.

I was worried about a simple reskinned flavor, but thankfully, she claims the stuff is “Like Cinnamon Toast Crunch but with something that makes them taste more fried like churros.” So I’ll look forward to basting mine with cinnamon bun filling.

So while this is exciting, considering CTC Churros accompanying pouches leads me to the exciting conspiracy: General Mills stole one idea from every other major cereal company for its snackin’ cereals line.
Exhibit A: Cinnamon Toast Crunch Churros as a clear spirit-swiping successor to Post’s Mini Cinnamon Churros.
Exhibit B: Cookies ‘n Creme Fillows, an entirely new cereal line for General Mills (which I hope expands to PB&J, but that’s beside the point), taking the filled pillow model that is now quintessentially Kellogg and Krave’s—I’d call Fillows an echo fighter of GM’s Hidden Treasures, but those never came in chocolatey flavors. Seems a little too convenient.


Exhibit C: XL Reese’s Puffs. Hmm, seems like no coincidence that Cap’n Crunch’s 3x bigger Crunch Berries just hit shelves weeks ago. Looks like General Mills has been engaging in military espionage against the Cap’n and Quaker, too. This is why the cereal aisle needs Chex and balances.

You’re free to call me crazy, cuckoo, or just grrrrrr-eatly overthinking this, but as I start my hunt for General Mills’ cereal cyborgs, I’ll see them for what they really are: pouches of sucker punches.

If Cap’n Crunch fires back with marshmallowed Fluffernutter Peanut Butter Crunch next year, just call me Nostra-Dan-us.

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